Love
Get a Clue!
What does it take to make those individuals with no censors listen up? I can admit in the 80’s I had no Gaydar and flirted with a few fellas that were not interested in my type. I have even made some financial decisions of buying a great pair of shoes over eating. However, where is that invisible line that you do not cross that aids you in tuning in and listening up?
Yesterday, I was dressed for success and headed to a very important meeting. I was looking like this with a tailored suit. I was sharp. I was focused. I was about to make a few power moves.
However, my new cash diet requires that I pay for my gas with cash. I get out of the car at the local BP, and I hear a cat call. Who still does that? Then Mr. Oooh Hoo, Oh Baby Baby, had the audacity, the pomposity, the unmitigated gall, to ask 
me if I was married. I turned around to see what rude man was yelling at me, and this is what I see! Really? Seriously?
One, I was hurt that as good as I looked, that this was all I could get? Damn. I’m devastated.
Second, what was there about me that made this fool think he had a chance?
And last but not least, what clue did you miss that made you feel froggy and want to jump at the chance?
Get a clue!
Men and women, please, if someone is not looking at you, please don’t yell at them to get their attention. If you know for a fact, that you are highly unattractive, stop making a pest of yourself with people of the opposite sex, that you know you are never going to get. It is just sad.
I am confused why the fellas that sell bootleg DVD‘s in the parking lot of Wal-Mart are always quick to try to pick up a date. Although your entrepreneurial spirit is admired, dude, you are selling illegal merchandise in the parking lot of Wal-Mart! You don’t need a date, you need a lawyer! You are a criminal. And secondly, yelling at women with children, “I got that Puss in Boots” is kind of tacky. I saw three women want to slap him.
It’s not just these situations that individuals need to get a clue. I am going to list some other areas that may require individuals to make a few mental adjustments.
- If you are living in an apartment and are planning a $10k wedding, maybe that money should be used as a down payment on a house or condo. Why start your life together in debt for cake and a DJ?
- If you are making payments on $40k car and are renting the furniture in your rented apartment, get a clue, and use it. You don’t even have a garage to park that car in.
- If she slept with you on the first date, then it is highly unlikely that she is going to be faithful in your relationship.
- If he has to call his Mama to discuss every problem that you have, then maybe he’s just not that into you.
- If her Mama has keys to your place, you may as well move out.
- If she is dressed to the nines, with hair and nails always done, then she is probably not managing her money well. This does not apply if she is making bank. If she is yelling welcome to “Arby’s” or “Welcome to Moe‘s,” the initial statement stands.
- If his phone goes off all day and night, then I’m sure, his homies aren’t the only one texting him.
- If her favorite shows are reality based centering around a great deal of drama, then she probably lives her life the same way; with a great deal of drama.
- If he is a sports fanatic, then please expect to lose him on Sunday evenings to the game. You knew this, give him his space or learn about football.
And last but not least, our number ten and last thought that was rattling around in my head,
- What you did to get them in your life, is what you have to continue to do, to keep them. If you only pretended to like basketball to get a date with him, then I advise you to invest in a Jersey to wear on game days. If you swore you loved Opera and the ballet, let’s hope you have cleaned your dinner jacket.
We all have moments to dumbness, however, life gives you several annotations throughout the day. I call them clues. Next time one pops into your line of sight, please grab it, and put it to good use.
Did you just unfriend me?
Today I was just given a shock. I was checking my Facebook page and hubby made the comment that our son had something funny on his wall. I went to check and found that my own child had unfriended me! The nerve!
Here is the beauty of this; he is not able to see my post because he is not my friend. Therefore I can talk about him and he not know.
What does it really mean in Americanspeak when someone unfriends you on a social network? It means that you have been deemed unimportant in their daily lives. It means they do not care to know what you are doing on a daily basis and you are not privy to their information. In other words, you have been ruled as obsolete.
I know, it hurts. It hurts me too. I unfriended by brother-in-law and his insipid wife. I unfriended that guy from high school that I never really spoke to 30 years ago and I don’t really want to know about his daily life. I unfriended that drunk girl from college, who claimed she was allergic to alcohol, but found a way to guzzle it every weekend. I unfriended an Army buddy who found religion. She did not necessarily find God, because she is always judging how someone else is living their lives. I unfriended that former co-worker who I remembered tried to get me fired. Witch!
I blocked Mafia Wars, My Little Pony, I have a Butt Rash, Hearts, Rabbits and other irrelevant applications that drained my phone’s battery. I stopped following and unliking artist who made sucky movies. I stopped liking artist who sold out and added rap music to beautiful R & B ballads. I stopped responding to events that I would never, ever attend, by groups, I don’t want to be associated with anyway.
I took a cue from my son.
I started to update my pages as well and began to remove people that I really didn’t deal with on a regular basis.
I am okay with it.
I just hope some my acquaintances are as well, my sister in law, I don’t really care about.
Unfriending someone is not an insult. I see it as a separation of church and state. I don’t need to see everything that is going on in my son’s life and he does not need to see what I am posting. Not that either of us are saying anything offensive.
I am glad I have a chance to now ask him how was his day, versus sharing his life vicariously through his daily updates. I, now get to talk to him in person. Unfriending me, may just save our relationship.
Get Crafty This Holiday Season
This holiday season, you save yourself a few dollars by making some Christmas gifts. I know, I know who has the time? That is the wrong question. The right question is who has the money to buy that many gifts? This nice wreath is made out of Coffee filters. The total cost for this project is about $10.
There are many simple projects that you can do that can either upcycle items already in your home or those items that need to leave your home. However, before we get to upcycling, let’s get back to those talents that you have that you can use to give or make gifts. Get your mind out of the gutter, you may be good at that but you can’t give it to your Nana!
Are you good at making cakes? You can make cake pops delivered in a nice basket from the Dollar Store. Are you good at making brownies, 
jams, cookies? All of these items make fabulous Holiday gifts. My neighbor makes a tin of cookies for us each year. The whole cul-de-sac knows when she is baking and we sit around like children awaiting our deliveries. I have another neighbor that makes fudge. I am not a fudge eater but am always glad for a gift that someone took the time to craft for me.
There are many projects and creative ideas available to you for free if you know where to look. I receive a free magazine from Lowe’s Home Improvement called Creative Ideas. It was choked full of so many great ideas that it inspired me to write. I am hoping to inspire you to try something different this year to save money and truly live better. This month’s issue takes you through easy steps to make wonderful holiday wreaths, headboards and upcycling home items. Upcycling takes recycling to a whole new level by recovering or repurposing items you already have in your home. Take that hideous chair that your Mom sent over to your new place. You don’t want it, but you can’t hurt her feelings. Give it a coat of paint, and add some studs and viola, you have upcylced items that you were going to throw away. You have reduced your carbon footprint, reduce landfill input and given that piece of furniture a reason to feel useful again.
I think the most exciting thing about the holidays is the decorations. Each year, we look for that special ornament to add to our tree. Have you thought about making ornaments out of every day simple items or really putting the décor into decorating? I went to visit my favorite crafter’s website, Martha Stewart. I have always considered her to be the McGyver of crafting. I saw where you can take mini picture frames and turn them into cute ornaments for the mantle or the tree.
Many of the websites have free newsletters, Blogs and magazines that you can have sent right to your home. It doesn’t matter what your skillset, there is something you can do that someone else admires. You can make a box of custom greeting cards. You can lay out a few pages in a scrapbook for a family member. You can buy a set of stencils and create a 
personalized box for a night stand. You just have to try.
Here is your starting point. Here are some Thanksgiving place cards along with the template courtesy of Ms. Stewart.
Happy Crafting!
Trick or Treat! Put some clothes on!
It befuddles me that women choose Halloween to release their inner demons, literally. I am not certain when
the trend started, but nice girls turn into ghoulish vamps, tramps and scamps. The whole trend is not only creepy, but scary. It is no longer a treat, when your best friend shows up anywhere, let alone your home, looking like a Trick.
It started this morning on my way to work. I saw my 60 year old neighbor dressed as a naughty nurse. That is just wrong on so many levels. I too wanted to participate in the Halloween festivities, so I grabbed some red wedges, a red cape, a long black skirt and top with a Puritan ruffle to complete my ensemble. I grabbed a twig from the back yard as my evil wand. I add some colorful makeup to my eyes, bushed up my eyebrows, and stopped by Walmart to add a witches cap with a spider veil. I am not too evil, nor am I uncovered, wearing fishnets, hooker boots, or a skirt that is WAYYYYY too short. it was out of the norm for me, but honestly, the naughty nurse should be reserved for private parties. I an not a prude, or prudish, I just know there are some things we do not need to see.
I want to believe that somewhere in all of us there is a nice little girl and little boy who want to play with the other kids. However, there has to be a line drawn somewhere. Some of these ideas are simply just in poor taste.
If you wish to let your freak flag fly, then by all means, do so, but please take this word of caution. If you think for one minute that you our coloring outside of the lines, and no one is expecting you to be so edgy, then you are wrong. Your friends and co-workers already know that you are freaky. Showing up to anyone’s home, half dressed, looking like a Hallowhore is not really cute. Be the adult here and just find a costume that is appropriate and for Pete’s sake, put some clothes on!
That’s what friends are for……
I have been running hard and eating poorly these past three weeks. New quarter, new classes, new students and a new 
schedule added up to a recipe for disaster. My body rebelled and told me to stop the nonsense and when I refused to listen, it shut down. We are not talking about a head cold, I am talking a full blown system purging.
I was laid out. Flat on my back is where I ended up after a night of personal conversations from several perspectives with the King of the Lavatory.
I couldn’t be sick. Tomorrow was my scrapbooking day with my friend, Saturday I was hitting the Oktoberfest with another friend and the flea market, plus I had to get the Quilt Show, and the Fair to get a turkey leg. I can’t do any of these things sick! The fever I had said otherwise and I called it quits.
My friend called my cell at 10 am on Friday. When I did not respond she called me at 11:15 and this time left a voice message. At noon she sent a text and at 12:30 she called my house. I had not responded which, she stated, was not like me. And yes, we have a land line. No, I am not a dinosaur. On with the story about friends…stay focused please. At 1:30 she was at my front door with a bag of peppermint tea for my upset tummy and although my son had placed a chair on the opposite side of the bed of sickness, she opted not to use it. Instead, she brought me a hot cup of bitter ass peppermint tea, fluffed up the pillows on hubby’s side of the bed and climbed in beside me.
She climbed on beside “Oh, my gosh, I have a fever” breath. She climbed on beside I smell like I’m sick, fever soaked sweaty tee shirt. She climbed on beside my matted afro and crusted nose that had started to drip from being so hot all night from fever, that now resembled a 5 year old with hayfever. She did so with a smile and simultaneously grabbed the remote and began to ask me why I was laid out like I was on a crucifix.
I started to laugh. She then commented on my smelling like I had been riding a horse and my desperate need of a shower and washing my face. She stayed for 2.5 hours and when she left I felt better. Not cured, but better and ready to get well.
Ironically, my friend that I was supposed to meet on Saturday, called while she was there as well, and she too called my house because I had not answered my cell; she too figured something must have been wrong. Something was wrong; I had made some poor choices on rest, exercise and food. I did not, however, make poor choices in my friends. They know me well enough to know when I am up and sharp enough to know to call my house when I am down. They also know my home number.
Don’t be confused, any friend can be at your side when you are the life of the party. It takes a special friend to climb on your sickbed and hold your feverish hand. Friends are there to make you feel better when you are down, help you celebrate your accomplishments and cry when you need it. Remember, a friend is someone to also thank for putting up with you…..
Olivia Gaines Author 
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