Dealing With Rejection
Deciding to be a full time writer requires discipline, vision, and direction. There are daily challenges to your craft and the daily checking of your mailbox and inbox. Focus becomes your enemy in the beginning because there are so many distractions. The biggest distraction is rejection letters.
It is difficult, no matter how mature or evolved you feel you are to deal with someone telling you, that YOU are not good enough. Adding insult, to personal injury, it is being written, addressed, and sent to you, to say, you are not worthy.
When attempting to process these letters of hate and disgruntlement, I am faced with a word that was posted on Facebook by a friend, she simply stated “cognitive dissonance.” For those of us, a tad bit out of school, this is just a fancy term for sour grapes. If we go back to Aesop’s fables, the story of the Fox & the Grapes, is indicative of cognitive dissonance. Since the Fox couldn’t reach the grapes he concluded they were sour and he did not need them anyway.
I am feeling some kind of way about these rejection letters. I don’t want to just say that maybe those publishers are not right for me, because in my heart, I know they are not. I just submitted because I needed to submit. In all honesty, the work was not ready and it should have never been sent to anyone.
I am not going to have sour grapes because I am going to take to time to make it right. My skin will become thicker, my vision will become clearer and I am going to stay off Facebutt and TwitBook. I have installed HootSuite, and loaded all my pages into this app to reduce my distractions and move forward in my writing life.
This is my year.
This my craft.
This is my vision….
- Cognitive Dissonance (typicalhousecat.com)
- “I’ve certainly experienced my share of cognitive dissonance when it comes to determining the social…” (vivekhaldar.com)
- Expanding Your Narrative (kenyatta2009.wordpress.com)
- Living with cognitive dissonance (hollycampbellsoms.wordpress.com)
Give Me A Break
I am so tense and tight that I feel at any moment I am about to break loose and hurt a body. Please don’t misunderstand, I am not angry, I am just tired and in need of a respite. I reached the limit of my tolerance for bullpuckey about two weeks ago.
As an educator of adults, you are sometimes torn between the adult who feels they are too old to learn or the youngster with way too much feeling and is scared to learn. All of it is trying on a nerve. A nerve that is hurting. If you factor in days when Uncle Osteo Arthritis wants to be uncooperative, then you have an unhappy camper. However, let us back up for a minute.
We can begin with Hoodie-Thon. Yes, this is one subject that I will barely touch other than to point out a few obvious things. The first obvious thing is that we are so desperate for something to believe in, that we find ourselves championing something that yes, is controversial, but will not change our lives. If changing your Facebook status to a picture of you in a hood is your idea of activism, then it is time to reevaluate your standing. Second, using your celebrity to Tweet a location for the gathering of a lynch mob is stupid. And last, we are paying four dollars per gallon of gas, our children are eating crap, the food manufacturers are feeding us “pink slime” in our beef and you are wearing a hoodie to show solidarity. Give me a break and he (guy in photo) is a vegetarian, but I’d bet he has days when he wants to hurt a burger and provide a news report on how good it is.
Let’s move on to our twenty four hour news networks. I tuned in and the same stories are run hour after hour with the same catch phrases. There are seven continents and one is melting, I would rather see the coverage of the ice melting than your news. Even Jon Stewart, with his fake news is more informative than what Fox News is reporting. Please don’t make me hurt you. Give me a break.
Last, but not least on my list of people who require hurting are IT Techs. These people should not be allowed to breed! No, it is not harsh; let’s think about the last conversation you had with your company’s “IT person?” In order to start the conversation you first may want to find a different entrance into their office because the main door has been outstretched by their giganimous heads. Next, please bring spray for your walkway in order to kill the aroma of their God-like egos before you stand in their presence. Excuse me, did I say stand? Allow me to rephrase, you may want to genuflect in order to even have them hear you because they will answer your question with all the reasons why they can’t help you, the forms you need to fill out, and reminding you to open a ticket. With the pleasantries out of the way, you will be forced to listen to all of the other things that are far more important than you. Here’s list of toilets they would rather clean with their personal toothbrush than to help you with your crummy little issue. Be Gone UnTechnical Peasant idiot and stop pressing control, alt, delete. Give me a Break. I’m crushing your head. I’m crushing your head.
Next, I am going to crush my own head with a Xanax and glass of wine. I will make the loud noises stop.
- Congressman Removed from U.S. House Floor Over Hoodie (fox4kc.com)
- WATCH: Jon Stewart Rips Trayvon Martin Media Coverage (huffingtonpost.com)
- Think Out Of The Box (osolutions.wordpress.com)
7 Types of Men Every Woman Should Date
Okay, admittedly so, I have on several occasions acknowledged that I need to stay off Facebook. However, I could not pass up this little ditty. According to Quentin McCall, Life Coach, there are seven types of women, every man should date. These beauties include a simple, low maintenance woman, a woman who has submitted herself to God, an emotionally stable, selfless woman who can be your best friend. The last two traits that every man should look for is a woman of character, who is also loyal and patient. If you happen to find this woman, I think I would like to date her too, because I am not sure if this person exists. On a good day, I can cover maybe three, but all seven, I fear, my friends, that I am not that enlightened. Even June Cleaver sometimes got a little terse with the Beaver.
As a woman, I am always looking for ways in which I can be better, or ways in which I can evolve. Yet, we all know that in order to evolve, we must learn ways to grow from our mistakes. The things which have slowed us down or rather taught us major lessons in life, are the things which have caused us pain. Therefore, it is only fitting that I pick up where Mr. McCall has left off, and make a list of seven men that every woman should date.
- Someone who is broke, so you can remember, it ain’t cute constantly eat off the dollar menu.
- A man without a car, you will easily learn that he spends his money on Jordan’s instead of saving for something worthwhile like a vehicle.
- A bad boy, these are great to show you that drama is not a formula for relationship success. Getting drunk and fighting is only fun and exciting the first time, until you either get arrested or the cops threaten to haul you off with that idiot.
- A sexaholic. When you are young, you can go all night. When you are 35, the only thing you want to do all night is sleep. These guys are great for a once a month outing, but really, in two years when you would rather sleep, he and his friend are constantly poking you in the back trying to get you to play. Both of them need to go to sleep. You want to converse with me, talk to me with your mouth.
- A man who is in touch with his emotions. He can tell you all about his feelings, which is great, but a year into the relationship, he is just going to seem like he is just whining.
- A cheap skate. The good thing about this man is that you will never be broke. You will also never have anything new, never get a new car, a bigger house or shop at Macy’s.
- A man of refinement, this person is usually smarter than you are, are well traveled and understand food and wine pairings. He is also a test model because these types of men always make you feel as if you are not quite at their level. I love these types of men, because they inspire you to learn more and be better. Please keep in mind, you are not being better to be with them, just tuning up for when you meet your future husband. PS, hubby is going to be proud that you know food and wine pairings. This insipid fellow also taught you about stocks and bonds, so you can a little bit of moolah.
Even though I said seven, there is still one type of man with a must have trait in the man you marry; that is the ability to fix things. I love a handy man. I hate when something breaks and your man is in the Yellow Pages looking for a repair person. Heck, I can do that myself.
I know I may have missed a man or two that a woman should date, but these are not to be confused with the type of men a woman can’t resist. That in itself is a different story with a whole new set of rules and lessons learned. We will visit that on a later edition.
- Dating in NYC – Potential Girlfriend or just a Piece of Ass? (julietjeske.wordpress.com)
- ‘No Crazy Chicks’: Eight Red Flags I Learned from Online Dating by JILL FILIPOVIC (sanguinelyyours.wordpress.com)
- Top Ten First Date Rules for Men (thenewtopten.wordpress.com)
Angry Facebook Postings
Posted on Updated on
Last week, in one of the many groups I will swing by and make random comments, a statement was posted about writers block.
Use Image Searches Like a Thesaurus to Overcome Your Creative Blocks lifehacker.com. Creative blocks are extremely frustrating. They come when you’re excited to produce something awesome but can’t manage to find the necessary inspiration to do so.
In my, evidently incorrect posting, I stated that I did not believe in writer’s block. I said that writer’s block was a term created by people who had run out of things to say and that when a writer, pens themselves into a corner, in frustration, they say it is writer’s block. I further went on to add, that if the writer reevaluates where they are and what they are attempting to say, you can write your way into a good story.
Simply stated I thought. Again, I was wrong. Some random lady, felt she needed to correct me with a statement that says my statement was rather opinionated.
Lauren StarrI don’t agree with that Cheryl, strongly so, some may have no issues of writer’s block – but that doesn’t mean others don’t have that problem. With the amount of books written on the subject I’m afraid that you are in the minority. I’ve also had an author state that “there are no characters writing the story, it’s just the author’s imagination…” Frankly, I’ve spoken to many authors & writers that claim that they have characters that they argue with, that some try to change the storyline & that there is a large number that feel that way. So just because one person or a few believe something, that doesn’t mean it is true for the majority. I found your statement that having a writing block is equivalent to not having anything to say is rather harsh and short sighted. It’s also rather hurtful to those that may be going through it. Often I get a type of writer’s block – not from a lack of ideas or having nothing to say, but from the sheer amount that wants to rush forth. I don’t know where to start or which story to tell. That can cause a bit of a dam when it comes time to actually write. The words are there, it’s just drawing out the first sentence so that things will start to flow. I’ve known well known authors that have different kinds of writer’s block – so your statement is rather opinionated, as well as negative in its presentation towards those that are dealing with the condition themselves. Criticism is good as long as it is helpful and not harmful.
March 9 at 10:46am · Like Unlike · 1
I know right! I was amused initially and so I thought I would send back a smart ass comment to counteract the negativity, provide my background and shed some light as to why I wrote what I did. I even thanked her for the Republican response. It appears that someone else also agreed with her and liked the comment. She evidently did not like mine, because this is what she wrote back.
Lauren StarrNice of you to assume I’m acting like a Republican. I’m not one. I’ve also been a teacher, though that was many years ago. Being a teacher, even of english is no guarantee to being a good writer. Or even of teaching others to be good writers. But no one says it better than James N. Frey in his book, “Write a Damn Good Novel”. His opinion on teachers and writing is priceless, since he used to be a professor himself. You should check it out if you haven’t yet. I also do not know why you seek to prove your view as superior as you did. As Mr. Frey stated in his insightful book, “there are many ways to write.” I agree that there is no one-size-fits-all ideal or the profession would not be such a coveted position. I’m sure you’re proud of your recognition, local fame and achievements. That’s fine, though I see no reason to fan them out as a peacock tail. Since I don’t know you, I find it a bit arrogant. But then that’s my opinion, my viewpoint. Everyone has one, like them or not. But it is far more telling of one’s character by seeing how they react to the views of others, than in the words they use to seek to clarify their own views. Why does one seek to prove their own opinion is better or more valid than another’s opinion. What is there to gain? Personally, when it came to criticism, more often, I’ve found a child’s feedback much more interesting, honest and useful. It’s also much more welcome, than the same from those that claim to be “experts”. As they are experts of their opinion and point of view. No more or less than anyone else. Frankly, I’d no idea why you’d bet your PhD – In our present economy, it’s worth is somewhat questionable. When even doctors and lawyers are unable to become employed, I don’t see the point. Nor do I see the relivancy in making the bet. Sorry to step on your toes, but if you don’t like my opinion that’s fine. But don’t wave your resume at me to prove your opinion has more worth. It doesn’t.
March 11 at 11:20pm · Unlike Like · 3
I was doubly a smart ass, because I was one of the three people that liked her comment. Then I posted in the group this really neat photo. I am still laughing too. I am creating a blog post dedicated to her effrontery. I am going to link it to her blog, because I am a teacher. In this economy, I even have a job.
Here’s the rub my friends. If you are going to pick a fight on Facebook with a person, at least know who you are fighting. I came up through corporate in the 1980s. I only know one way to fight; that is dirty and to take you out. Since you posted your comment in a public group and a public forum, I can repost it. I am coming for you sweetheart. I am going to explain to you relevancy, although you misspelled it, and I am going to bet my PhD, that your silly ass won’t do this again.
This entry was posted in Facebook, Life and tagged angry comments, facebook, facebook angry, Writers Block, Writers Resources, Writing Exercises.