Month: February 2012

When did men stop being men?

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Last month, as part of our saving more campaign, hubby and I decided to cancel some unnecessary subscriptions and memberships. Reluctantly, this cancellation included my new love, Sirius Satellite radio. I miss having the freedom to avoid advertising and Shock Jocks, but alas, without my trust iPod at my side, I was forced to listen to the radio. I tuned in to Michael Baisden. He had an interesting topic and wanted to know, when did men stop being men?


    I don’t think that men have stopped being men; I think women have stopped being ladies. In an ever changing world, roles became muddled in the 80’s, transfused in the 90’s and in the new millennia, these roles have been transposed. We don’t know what we want anymore, who we want or how to live with the opposite sex. We can’t communicate because unless it is a BBM or a text message, face time is only applicable if it involves the Facetime app. How can we expect our men to know what to say let alone how to act?

    The problem is really two fold. I think as mothers, we have become so protective of bad women who were not properly raised, that we shelter our sons. Our sheltered sons are often torn between holding in their mouths the breasts of their women and the breasts of their mothers. It is hard to realize such extremes, but to be honest, it is where we are. Our men cannot be men, because they are still being their mom’s little boys. Mother’s must learn to let them go so they can leave your homes and began their own.

    When Mom learns to let go, men can then become independent to find their way. Don’t worry Mom, if you raised him right, he will know how to treat a lady and will only attract the good ones. But, in order to attract a good man, you must first be a good woman. Being a good woman means you must learn to honest and stop introducing the men in your lives to you designated representatives (DR). Your DR is that person you are pretending to be to get this man to like or love you. You wonder why the relationship goes south; because once you tire of the charade, the real you comes out. Nine times out of ten, he will not like the real you. As a matter of fact, you argue all the time because the real you and your DR are at odds. However, you will not be kind and end it until you have reduced him to a pulverized mass weeping on the kitchen floor. I feel sorry for the woman that gets him next.

    Men have not stopped being men, we have stopped being ladies. Our DR’s show up and promise the poor fella that he has discovered a rare gem, when really it is just a lump a coal covered in green spray paint and shined up with Armor All. How do you know how to pick a good partner or mate when you can no longer trust your judgment? You don’t judge, you just learn to feel. If what you are doing feels good, then good is okay. It no longer becomes relevant to find something permanent, because every one lies. Everyone has a DR, and tonight, it is your turn to entertain the reps.

    If the latest rep or DR can pole dance, then the night is going to be hot! Who needs love when I can borrow it for a few minutes? I can be a good man tomorrow, however tonight, I am going to be a bad boy. Life is short, why waste it thinking? I am still thinking about the original question and I have no answer for you Mr. Baisden.

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ast month, as part of our saving more campaign, hubby and I decided to cancel some unnecessary subscriptions and memberships. Reluctantly, this cancellation included my new love, Sirius Satellite radio. I miss having the freedom to avoid advertising and Shock Jocks, but alas, without my trust iPod at my side, I was forced to listen to the radio. I tuned in to Michael Baisden. He had an interesting topic and wanted to know, when did men stop being men?


    I don’t think that men have stopped being men; I think women have stopped being ladies. In an ever changing world, roles became muddled in the 80’s, transfused in the 90’s and in the new millennia, these roles have been transposed. We don’t know what we want anymore, who we want or how to live with the opposite sex. We can’t communicate because unless it is a BBM or a text message, face time is only applicable if it involves the Facetime app. How can we expect our men to know what to say let alone how to act?

    The problem is really two fold. I think as mothers, we have become so protective of bad women who were not properly raised, that we shelter our sons. Our sheltered sons are often torn between holding in their mouths the breasts of their women and the breasts of their mothers. It is hard to realize such extremes, but to be honest, it is where we are. Our men cannot be men, because they are still being their mom’s little boys. Mother’s must learn to let them go so they can leave your homes and began their own.

    When Mom learns to let go, men can then become independent to find their way. Don’t worry Mom, if you raised him right, he will know how to treat a lady and will only attract the good ones. But, in order to attract a good man, you must first be a good woman. Being a good woman means you must learn to honest and stop introducing the men in your lives to you designated representatives (DR). Your DR is that person you are pretending to be to get this man to like or love you. You wonder why the relationship goes south; because once you tire of the charade, the real you comes out. Nine times out of ten, he will not like the real you. As a matter of fact, you argue all the time because the real you and your DR are at odds. However, you will not be kind and end it until you have reduced him to a pulverized mass weeping on the kitchen floor. I feel sorry for the woman that gets him next.

    Men have not stopped being men, we have stopped being ladies. Our DR’s show up and promise the poor fella that he has discovered a rare gem, when really it is just a lump a coal covered in green spray paint and shined up with Armor All. How do you know how to pick a good partner or mate when you can no longer trust your judgment? You don’t judge, you just learn to feel. If what you are doing feels good, then good is okay. It no longer becomes relevant to find something permanent, because every one lies. Everyone has a DR, and tonight, it is your turn to entertain the reps.

    If the latest rep or DR can pole dance, then the night is going to be hot! Who needs love when I can borrow it for a few minutes? I can be a good man tomorrow, however tonight, I am going to be a bad boy. Life is short, why waste it thinking? I am still thinking about the original question and I have no answer for you Mr. Baisden.

And I will always love you…..

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    Over the past week I have been amazed, astounded and mesmerized by the sheer ignorance of my fellow-man. In the loss of one of the purest voices of our time, I listened, heard and watched many say some of the most inappropriate, if not stupid comments. I listened to commentary and watched live streaming feeds of adversarial anecdotes during the home going celebration. I read, or rather skimmed over blog posts that attempted to lay blame for the course of a life. I watched church people act ugly when deciding who was worthy to sit where in the church to pay their respects. There were so many who came to say goodbye to her, but in the end, when we leave this world, who will mourn us?

    I watched many come to say farewell to a life that was lived on its own terms. We may not have agreed with the way she lived it, but who are we to question? The fame, achievement and notoriety she gained before the age of 25, most of us will never achieve in our lifetime. Yet, we can take one moment in a 25 year career, and focus on just that—while refusing the see the whole picture. I vividly remember the 80’s and am thankful to still be alive not to mention surviving my fashion choices. I was forgiven and I grew while moving on to the next phase.

    There were phases in her life that we questioned her choices for choosing to hide in a chemically induced world, but there, no one was judging her choices. In that world there she experienced no pain. In that world, everyone and everything was love. In that world there was no responsibility and there she could sleep.

    It is hard to imagine what life would be like if on Saturday night, I was in Anaheim, high on the adoration of a crown of 35,000 people. Then on Tuesday, doing the performance all over again in San Diego, Thursday back in Los Angeles and Friday in San Francisco and Saturday in Sacramento. There is no time in between gigs to come down off the performance high. There is no time to decompress. There is no time for sleep.

    In the end, it is all they ever want. They want to sleep. The mind is a wondrous thing. It allows us to dream with our eyes open, we can dream with our eyes closed and we can learn to believe that anything is possible. However, if the mind is strained, the one thing it will not do, is allow us to sleep. I can smile and say that she and her voice are finally resting. I will miss the beauty of her voice, the grace of her presence and I want her to know that I will always love you….

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I like her work.

Views from the Couch

On a somewhat serious note today because of a conversation the other day:

I am sure every girl can recall, at least once as a child,  coming home and telling their parents, uncle, aunt or grandparent about a boy who had pulled her hair, hit her, teased her, pushed her or committed some other playground crime.  I will bet money that most of those, if not all, will tell you that they were told “Oh, that just means he likes you”.  I never really thought much about it before having a daughter of my own.  I find it appalling that this line of bullshit is still being fed to young children.  Look, if you want to tell your child that being verbally and/or physically abused is an acceptable sign of affection, i urge you to rethink your parenting strategy.  If you try and feed MY daughter that crap, you better…

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Oh My Diet!

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Okay so here we are in February, Valentine’s has just left, you ate too much for that special dinner and now you feel fat. Although you promised yourself for your New Year’s resolution that you would eat right, you know you haven’t and next month, you really aren’t going to care THAT much. How much should you care really depends on what you put in will be the results of what you get out. I was just thinking, what should I actually put in…..here’s the skinny.

Vegetables: It would appear that your body requires 4 to five servings of these per day to keep it clean. You can do 100% juice or 1 cup raw or ½ cooked. No, vegetables do not include variations on a potato or corn. This also means that corn chips are not considered a vegetable.
Fruits: it would appear that your body could use 4 to 5 servings of this per day as well. You will need one medium fruit or ½ cup dried or fresh fruit. I sometime forget that avocados are also a fruit.
Whole Grains: 1 Slice of bread or a cup of cereal or ½ cup cooked rice or pasta. It appears the body requires 3 plus servings per day. I like whole grains to boost my fiber because well, I am at that age.
Vegetable Oils: This part is hard for many of us because we like to surpass the 1 teaspoon, 2 to 6 times per day. When we think of oils, we do not think of canola, safflower, peanut or soybean oils because they are expensive. We usually pick what is on sale, what we have a coupon for and the store brands of vegetable oils. We must think heart healthy.
Dairy: Ooh my favorite, but it is best to choose low fat options. I also realized much to my dismay that ½ of vanilla is only 140 calories, but I cannot have it every day. Two to three servings per day includes 1 cup of milk or yogurt, but man do I love the cheese.
Shellfish and Fish: Bonefish Grille here I come. I think I can eat there twice a week so that my body can have the two required servings. I know that fish is a good source of Omega 3 and Vitamin D, but a serving size is a deck of cards
Nuts and Seeds: These are loaded with minerals, vitamins and healthy fats. I know, it sounds like an oxymoron to me as well, but a handful of these 4 to five times a week will do a body good.

So there you have it, you picturesque guide to staying healthy. So you can join http://loseit.com to keep track of what you are sticking in your pie hole, or you can just make a check list to ensure you have some of the good stuff. Eat well.

What Was I thinking?

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I haven’t posted a blog in almost two weeks. For a minute, I felt I didn’t have anything to say? What was I thinking? I always have something to say. I am always thinking about the probability, the plausibility and the possibility of things to come. One of those oncoming things is the future.

Today, as we entered the mid-term process, I asked the students to begin composing their final speeches. The final speeches require the student to go forty years into their futures and imagine all of possibilities of the great things they are going to accomplish. This assignment stumped them and they had nothing. It was a total freak out and a mind block. I began to think, have we forgotten what is like to dream?

One student had and in the process of thinking about her now young children being successful parents and spending time with her grandchildren, she began to cry. What was I thinking introducing this process so soon? I know what I was thinking; I want you to believe.

    I want you to believe that all things are possible. If you can dream it, it is plausible. If you believe it, then it is probable. Making it come to life is where the task comes to play. I make them mind map it. I ask for the timeline starting from a graduating point, then move the audience with them through the bachelor’s degree, through the Master’s degree or if will they go further. I asked, of you are being awarded a lifetime achievement award, what you will achieve in your lifetime?

I want to be a great novelist. I want to win awards for my words. I want to dream bigger than my current circumstance. What I was thinking was so I still in fact remember how to dream?