Month: December 2011

That’s Just a little Too Realistic!

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Over the holiday break I was ecstatic to see many of the new blockbuster movies. One that was high on my list was The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. The much anticipated American version of the Swedish novelist Stieg Larsson‘s complete Dragon Tattoo trilogy series hit the big screen in December. I believe this is the first in the series along with The Girl Who Played With Fire, and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest.

I entered the movie full of angst and excitement. I took my seat with a big soda, a bag of freshly popped corn and hopes of a great movie. I had avoided reading the books because I wanted the thrill of seeing this on the big screen. I was thrilled all right, thrilled that it was over. This movie was just a tad bit too realistic for my brain. I experienced this same feeling twice before after seeing Pulp Fiction and Precious. I felt as if I needed to wash my eyeballs, take a shower and talk to a priest.

Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people and bad things happen all the time to many people, but for the love of Pete, to put in the big screen for entertainment, are just too much! I was not entertained. I was horrified. So horrified, I have ordered the DVD set of the original movie collection. It was like watching a train wreck.

I lay in bed, mind wandering left and right trying to understand a man who would write such darkness. I also tried to understand the complexity of the relationships between the characters and look for the good in your fellow man. I wanted to understand David Fincher‘s direction. I saw glimmers of hope during the movie, but there was so much depravity that I longed for yester year when movies made you feel good inside. This movie made me feel really dirty inside and out. Yet there was something about it that resonated with me and I held out hope that in the end, our wayward girl would find a connection with humanity.

I am going to read the rest of the books and watch the dvd’s because I want to believe.

Thinking Things Through

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I spent the day with a dear friend and over lunch, not only did she give me a headache, I think she gave my ass one as well. I never realized how absolutely negative she was in her mode of thinking, in her mode of living and essentially in her entire way of being. Midway through our conversation, it donned slowly upon my aching brain, that my head was hurting because I was attempting being rational with an irrational being.

The conversation started slowly with my latest novel that I cannot seem to finish because the character is not wholly developed. Her argument began with what a person will do for love at the demise of a relationship. I was told that I was a hopeless romantic and that most people did not think as I did and she, in fact, could not relate. That’s when I ceased trying to rationalize my thinking, because she just told me, she could not relate.

I grew up with relatives and had relations with people who loved me. I have friendships with several of my long term former loves where the relationships ended on an amicable note. I have had few, if any relationships that ended with an up yours and I am going to burn your sneakers in the bathtub. I am not a vindictive person and therefore cannot relate to people with vindictive spirits. I will admit to being a smart aleck and on several occasions have been called a smart ass, but never a negative one of either. Of course, based on these simple facts, there is no way, she could relate, nor understand.

It thereby became a harsh realization to me, that I was a hopeless believer in the good of all people, to include my pain in the ass friend. I also realized that out of all the people she was around, that I was the most faithful whom actually showed up on a regular basis to spend time with her ornery butt. Then something magical happened, I stopped talking and got quiet; she changed the subject. The moment I stopped trying to make sense of her nonsense and got quiet, she stopped with the negativity and simply said, “You are spoiled, I never got that type of love growing up, in my marriage or in any relationship.” I simply responded with, “I see your point.” I am hoping that you can see my point as you read these words. If it feels clear as mud, please allow me to explain.

The negativity she exuded was feeding off my disgustingly cheerful optimism. She could not understand my reasoning because she had no basis for what I understood. It would be the same as three blind men walking up to an elephant. If the first feels the trunk, the second feels the middle and the last feels the tail, then the three of them separately will never know it’s an elephant. In my mind, the smell will tell you it’s an elephant, but if you have never been around, seen, felt and smelled an elephant, you will have no frame of reference. My friend had no frame of reference for my views on love. Her negativity stemmed from a lack of love and it pissed her off that I had so much and she, so little and that on another lunch, I attempted to force my rose colored views across her aching eyes.

The conversation now turns against me and I become the designated ass, because she was in fact attempting a rational conversation with an irrational being. So often we attempt to force our views upon others who have no frame of reference for which we speak, and we become frustrated that they do not see our points of view. I am going to spend my 2012 eliminating the negatives from my words, because if I may quote Paula White, “you can’t celebrate my glory, if you don’t know my story.” I did not take into account my friend’s story and I bombarded her with my overly simplistic optimism, while expecting her to celebrate my thought process.

If you find yourself complaining about the same problem, moaning about the same situation, and groaning over the never changing scenarios that haunts your existence, then please takes this with you. The problem just may be you. We must give others a chance to celebrate your story, if you just hush up over the glory.

I Can’t Find the Remote!

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Tired, aching and full of fever, the bed had become a two day prison. At the start of day three, very pleased that the fever had broken, I was still weakened and not too anxious to move about. As I returned from the kitchen after retrieving a fresh glass of Gatorade, I hit the power button for the television. Looking to my left and to my right, I did not physically see the remote. The television was on TNT. I began to whine that I could not find the remote. I was stuck watching this channel for six hours which included two episode of The Closer and back to back showings of Rizzoli & Isles. I then began to think, was my inability to find the remote an allegory to how many of us were living our lives? Were we stuck watching a fake reality because we were too lazy to get up, physically look for something that can help you change the channel that your life was also stuck in?

    In our youth, we loved to tune into MTV and watch the latest videos, see the fashion and learn the dance moves. These iconic symbols were our models for how to dress, who to date, where to be seen and who to emulate. MTV has now changed and is full of reality television shows that have spawned the like of new young starlets named Snookie. This is also the channel that brought you Beavis & Butthead.  In the new millinia, these characters are now named The Situation and Mickey D. Somebody hand me the remote so I can change this channel because I have outgrown MTV. The same can also be said for the sister channels of VH1, E!, and BET.

    As mature adults we attempt to change the channel to CBS but there are only so many CSI shows one can tolerate along with death. CBS reminds us that are lives can be taken away by any random nut job that wants to be a serial killer or has the ability to brandish a weapon. Please help me find the remote; I don’t want to be this close to my own mortality.

    The other side of our adult hood likes to have fun, and we want to watch fun things, so we grab our remotes and tune into NBC. They have an Office full of schmucks, a television show at 30 Rockefeller Center that is full of hams who act like schmucks and fairy tales with Grimm endings. NBC is entertaining. We can leave the channel stationary for a while because here we feel sociable. We can talk about the episodes with our friends. We are connected, we are in the loop. Not really, these people on these shows are not your real friends, you are acting loopy, find the remote and find an adult channel and get in sync!

    On occasion, when our bodies and minds feel out of sync and we feel mentally loopy, we change to the Lifetime channel. Somebody is killing their husband, having the neighbor’s baby and somebody is going to die or get revenge. Either way, by the end of the movie you are in tears. An emotional cleansing that makes you feel better about the life you are really only half living. The tears aren’t really for the character on the show; they are for you, and your sad life. Remember when you used to be cool and people wanted to hang out with you? Change the damned channel already!

    In the end, it doesn’t matter which channel you are watching, the fact remains that you are sedentary. Get your butt up, get a book, start a blog, or just do something! If you can’t find the remote, then good, it may be a sign from the universe that it is time to stop watching television and become active in your community. Happy New Year and here is to a Happy New You!


iBroke

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    There are very few things in this life that genuinely surprise me. This past Christmas, I was pleasantly surprised by my family. My son, who is forever brooding in that dark, I am so deep manner, gifted me with a really cool watch. My husband usually gives me something impractical that I hold on to for several years before finding a good use for or he gives me something so practical, like socks, which one has to question his thinking. This year he surprised me. I received a gift certificate to my favorite store, Jo-Ann‘s, six new pairs of socks and I got an iPod.
    I have been fighting joining the iVerse for many years and often felt it was some form of an exclusive cult of white corded techies. This club consisted of mass collections of iDroids posing as techno beings, who spoke their own language as they made iMovies, published iBooks and downloaded iTunes. I just didn’t get it, but know I do. I was again surprised.
    My iPod came ready to go when I turned it on and after adding my little snacked out of apple sticker, I was now a part of the Hoi Polloi. I was now officially a Pod Person. I went online and joined the exclusive club and updated my iCloud. I thought, well how cool is this? I started considering ditching my Droid phone and just relying on my iPod for many of the functions I use on my Evo. I could save a boatload of cash each month while sticking it to the Sprint Gods. I proceeded to download my favorite apps like Foursquare, Fandango, Twitter, Facebook and of course, the Jo-Ann app. This was not enough. I want to be a part of the Tekkie universe so I needed to understand iWork which included iPages, iNumbers and iKeynote. In order to get these gems, a visit to the iStore was required. It turns out that each of these little applications were $9.99 each. Color me surprised!

    I then learned that I could also download my favorite movies, music, videos and books. All of these wonderful little pieces of the iVerse start at about $.99 each. Did I mention to even get the iPod started I had to give my credit card information? I wanted these things because I was now a Pod Person and Pod People needed Pod things to make their Pods grow and be bountiful. As day two rolls around, the shine is officially off the penny as well as the Pod, and I have just joined a new exclusive club called iBroke.
    However, although it is in our nature to want all the bells and whistles, we can fool ourselves that at $.99 each, I can just get the songs I want. I can watch movies on a cute little appliance that I can hold in my fingers while making my friends and other non-Pod people envious. I can show off my white ear buds and white cords and let others know that I too, was a member of the iClub. Screw that! I have satellite radio. I have Comcast Cable with Xfinity internet and wireless access in my home. I don’t want to watch a movie on a hand held apparatus. I want to kick back on my oversized couch, have an oversized bowl of popcorn and watch a movie on my big ass oversized television!
   Yet, I am grateful for my new toy because it provided fodder for me to rant about. I am even grateful for my six new pairs of surprisingly colorful socks. I am glad to also have a new MP3 player and even more grateful that hubby got the best one on the market.  I just don’t want to go broke to use it.  I will keep you updated on good deals and steals in the Apple Store and even more clever ways to use this device.  I am hoping, that in the end, I can remain optmistically surprised.


Ho, Ho, Hold on There!

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For some stupid reason, I waited until the last minute to do some of the needed shopping. Small items like the ham for Christmas dinner and all the fixings, another item or two for my son, and presents for my husband. One, my husband is very difficult to shop for and secondly, well to be honest, I needed one more pay day. It appears that everyone also got paid today as well and the stores, mall and everywhere else was packed.
 
    The day started on a good note. I ran a few errands, got a call from my doctor who wanted to move my appointment up. I was free so I was excited. Doctor’s appointment went well, scored some good drugs and headed over to the soldiers Mecca, the Post Exchange. Found a few good deals, picked up some items for hubby and son and was feeling rather good about myself. I remember the free coffee coupon in my couponizer for Cinnabon but I had to buy a roll to get the coffee. Fine, twist my arm, I will buy the Cinnabon cinnamon roll too. That was when I saw the beautiful, magical table of ooohhhh! It as free gift wrapping and these kids were working for tips. Saying hello, I get in line. A rough around the edges fella spotted me and commenced to bragging about what he had spent on his kids and wife. Ho, Ho, Hold on there fella, if you have bought all of that, I want to follow you home all right but not for what you may think, I am thinking I want to rob you.
    Now along comes Granny and she gets in line beside me. Yes, that is right, beside me not behind me, ho, ho, hold on Granny, it’s not your turn. The same thing happens on the other side. These people are trying to cut in the line. I am patient, the gift wrap is free and I only have three small gifts.

    I leave here and head over to Wal-Mart. Dear Jesus what was I thinking? Every aisle, crook and cranny was filled with people snatching up last minute cheap ass gifts. I was tempted to tell one little man, your Mama don’t want that stinky perfume, but I stopped myself, because it could indeed be his Mama’s favorite. I watched for a minute and the sister confirmed, it was their Mama’s favorite. Oof! Then there were more kids, who were breaking in line, cutting you off, snatching things off the shelves before you can even get to it. Ho, Ho, hold on there! My pimp hand is strong and I will slap a body. Yet, I persevere.
    Last on my stop is Bi-Lo to check out the weekly meal deal. It is the same meal deal they had last week along with a new deal on a no name pie, and get another pie and whipped cream for free. Ho, ho, hold on there Bi-Lo, you seem to be coming up short this holiday season. I am still furious at having to pay seven dollars for some cinnamon sticks.
    Now I am home, and preparing to make Wassail and wrap a few other presents to add under the tree. My beautiful neighbor has shown up with the annual can of Christmas cookies. I am putting away my laptop and keying into my family. I will check back in with you guys after Christmas. In the meantime, and in between time, please be safe, and enjoy your ho, ho, holiday!


Merry Christmas