Month: October 2014

Establishing Credibility. Calling Yourself Authoress Doesn’t Help

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Establishing credibility as an author is tough.  The stigma of being self-published is going by the wayside, since it has become a matter of dollars and sense.  But as a self-published author, are you giving yourself any credibility?

1. It bugs the crap out of me when I see someone label themselves as Authoress.  What the hell is that crap? Authors who are serious about what they are doing for a living, simple use the nomenclature of author or writer.  If I see your label of authoress, I know you are writing something I probably never want to read.  It doesn’t make you sound smart, it makes you sound narcissistic and self-indulged. Not buying your stuff.BeFunky_banner1--1_jpg

2. Your Website.  You are still on a free website with a name as long as my arm.  Your professional email address is still @yahoo.  You are a business person.  Publishing is a business.  Get a business email account.

3. You wrote one book three years ago and you are still hocking it on your Facebook page.  Good for you. What else have you written?

4. Take the time to educate yourself.  Model yourself after a successful author.  View their webpage, their social media accounts and allow that person to be your unofficial mentor.

5. Stop tagging people that don’t know you on FB.

6. Stop reviewing your own material.

7. Hire a professional cover designer or invest the money to buy a professional cover.

8. Unless you are famous, don’t put yourself on you’re your cover.  It is narcissistic. Vainglorious. And Self-centered.

9. Your FB page is a community.  Stop posting shit about buying your book.

And last but not least.

 10. Go take a class.  You must hone your skills. If you don’t your writing gets stale.

This way, you can become a talented authoress.

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Day 10: Still Dancingly Serious

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day-10Okay, who am I fooling.  I absolutely hate working out.  Monday, as I kicked off this week 2, I went and grabbed my hula hoop and started doing some wiggling.  Yes, that is what it was, wiggling.  Who knew hula hopping could be so hard.  It was worst when my back fat started to itch and I could not reach it to scratch.

Okay, start smaller.

Dance.  I love to dance.  I will start by dancing.

I took out my Wii and put in the Zumba workout.

Fifteen minutes in, I turned that shit off and went looking for some cake. No cake.  Dang!  It is just nine, too early for wine. (Hey I rhymed).

There has to be another way to ease my way into this working out stuff.

Then I spotted my iPod.

I played the first that came on.

Initially, I tried to do the routine.  Nope.  Just dance to the song, fool!  I burned 300 calories!  SAY WHAT NOW?

Okay fine.

I put on Dark Horse by Katy Perry.

Whew! I danced all the way through.

What else is in this iPod. I have some Kevin Lyttle, with Turn Me On.

Shucks now I am tired.  Need some cool down with Chaka Demus & Pliers – Murder She Wrote.

I am inspired.  I can do this!musictime-titre

You can too! Let’s rock it!

Do your readers allow you to grow?

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I never write the same story twice.  I feel it is a cheat that authors use when they have an idea or plot that sells, they keep writing the same story just interchanging the character’s names.  I can’t.  I have too many wonderful people in my head with their own individual tales. But there is a backlash.  If a reader “discovers” one of your books, they often expect every book to be that way, This is why many authors use Psuedos. My pseudo is my pseudo.

Here is this week’s author question.

Do your readers allow you to grow? Recently, I received a harsh review because my new book was nothing like my last.  The reviewer said she was “disappointed.”  

How do you grow as a writer without becoming formulaic?

2.0 out of 5 stars I was very disappointed in this book I pre ordered this book with …,October 13, 2014

Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
This review is from: Loving Words (The Davonshire Series Book 2) (Kindle Edition)
I was very disappointed in this book I pre ordered this book with great anticipation but was sorely sorry ….the love scene came very late in the book after reading Thursdays in Savannah Miss Gaines cannot seem to measure up.
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Feeling Sexy..but keep it off You Tube

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I often see women attempt to make provocative videos for their special someone.  For some damned reason, these are all done in the bathroom.  People die in the bathroom.

People are seriously hurt in that one room of the house. I also hurt myself laughing at this woman.

This is just sad.

What I am reading: Mystery by Jonathan Kellerman

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10635992_10152731032679443_1120277035371260591_nThe closing of the grand old Fauborg Hotel in Beverly Hills is a sad occasion for longtime patrons Alex Delaware and Robin Castagna, who go there one last time for cocktails. But even more poignant—and curious—is a striking young woman in elegant attire and dark glasses, alone there and waiting in vain. Two days later, police detective Milo Sturgis comes seeking his psychologist comrade’s insights about a grisly homicide. To Alex’s shock, the brutalized victim is the same beautiful woman whose lonely hours sipping champagne at the Fauborg may have been her last. But when a sordid revelation finally cracks the case open, the secrets that spill out could make Alex and Milo’s best efforts to close this crime not just impossible but fatal.

Week 2- Pulling it all Together

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week-2If you are anything like me, that first week should have been an eye opener. But it was a good week, it put some things into perspective for you.

Here is what you learned:

  1. You did not know your arms were that… um… round.
  2. The size of your right thigh is the circumference of the waist of some leaf nibbler in Los Angeles.
  3. You don’t drink nearly enough water.
  4. You like to eat stuff that your taste buds adore… your ass, not so much.
  5. You probably are only eating three of five food groups.
  6. You need to get moving.
  7. There are other ways to exercise without going to a gym.

Now that we have been honest with ourselves, let’s get to work.

This week the first thing you must do is weigh in, if you haven’t already. Did you lose the 1.5 pounds last week? If not, boost the greenery that you are eating, add a bowl of Raisin Bran and chug down that water this week.

Next, that list that you made of the things you like to do as a workout, this week, you should pick three, pick three days to do one of each, and let’s get cracking.

Yes, we are working out.

Resistance-Bands-Exercises

My three things this week are:

1: Monday: Hula-Hooping to Five Minutes of Funk (Dear Lord, hear my plea…I may make two and a half and provide the other 2.5 in just funk).

  1. I am going to walk around my subdivision on Wednesday. Okay, it’s a small subdivision, but it is half a mile around once.
  2. Friday: Toning. I have a rubber band thingy. My goal is to reduce the turkey gobblers on my arms before turkey day.

Also this week, log those calories. If you are using a fitness tracker, most come with a website to help you keep up. If not http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ is a great tool.

This Saturday, do something nice for yourself and treat yourself to something yummy.

I will check back in with you next Monday.

Day 7: Creating Your Plan

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day7 One of the hardest steps in getting healthy is getting back in the gym. I don’t know about you, but I hate the gym. It smells like anger, ass and frustration. There is also a clear difference between clean sweat and dirty sweat and the number of people who wake up and just come on to the gym is far too many for my nose’s convenience.

Who says you have to go to the gym?

You don’t!

You goal today is make a list of things you like to do that burns calories and gets your heart pumping. This is a critical step, because tomorrow we bring together everything we did this week for one big happy trip down fitness road. It is going to be a memorable journey, because you are designing your own plan. You are creating something that works for you, fits your schedule and your budget. That is the most important step to getting back on track.

What most people ignore, is that every physical activity burns calories. According to the University of Quebec in Canada, men expend 120 calories during half an hour of sex and women use up 90 calories. That is just under half the amount they would burn in a 30-minute jog. For brief periods during sex, some men used more energy than they did while on the treadmill. Yes you can love your way thin. Here are other activities that burn calories.

  1. Pushing a cart up and down the supermarket aisles for an hour will burn 243 calories.
  2. You know you need to paint the house, but you’re lacking the motivation. Does it help to know that three hours of house painting will burn 1,026 calories.’
  3. 30 minutes of digging in your yard will burn about 315 calories, the same amount burned by 45 minutes of bicycling on flat terrain. Digging tones the muscles of your calves, thighs, arms and shoulders. If you do it vigorously enough and continue the activity for 20 minutes or more, you can raise your heart rate and strengthen your cardiovascular system.
  4. Washing your car works your arms and abdominals. For every 30 minutes of car washing, you’ll burn 143 calories.
  5. Weeding for 30 minutes burns 115 calories, the same amount you’d burn in 15 minutes of weight training. Weeding tones your thighs and buttocks. Just be careful to bend with your legs while keeping your spine straight, or you could hurt your back.
  6. Raking leaves for 30 minutes burns 225 calories.

Now, let’s make a list of exercises you like to do. This is a very important list, because it will be you go to guide for the next 6 weeks. Make sure it is things you like to do. I will start mine as well.

  1. Stretching
  2. Toning with bands or cans (cans of beans or rubber bands)
  3. Zumba
  4. Doing the Wobble/Slide/Tush Push
  5. I need to wallpaper the den
  6. I need to clean the laundry room
  7. Reorganize the pantry
  8. Weed the front yard
  9. Plant my mums
  10. Tai –Chi
  11. Something on my Wii
  12. Go for a walk

It also helps to have a fitness tracker. This will make the job so much easier. Fitness trackers vary, so please spend wisely. If you just want to keep track of your calories burned, you can go low end. However, if you want to keep track of sleep, water intake, meals, you may need to go up a step. Here is a link that shows you the diversity in fitness trackers. I love mine, I have a Fitbit.

Boost-Bowflex-Fitness-Tracker-Review

Tomorrow we begin your plan.