brain cramps

Get a Clue!

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What does it take to make those individuals with no censors listen up? I can admit in the 80’s I had no Gaydar and flirted with a few fellas that were not interested in my type. I have even made some financial decisions of buying a great pair of shoes over eating. However, where is that invisible line that you do not cross that aids you in tuning in and listening up?

Yesterday, I was dressed for success and headed to a very important meeting. I was looking like this with a tailored suit. I was sharp. I was focused. I was about to make a few power moves.

However, my new cash diet requires that I pay for my gas with cash. I get out of the car at the local BP, and I hear a cat call. Who still does that? Then Mr. Oooh Hoo, Oh Baby Baby, had the audacity, the pomposity, the unmitigated gall, to ask me if I was married. I turned around to see what rude man was yelling at me, and this is what I see! Really? Seriously?

One, I was hurt that as good as I looked, that this was all I could get? Damn. I’m devastated.

Second, what was there about me that made this fool think he had a chance?

And last but not least, what clue did you miss that made you feel froggy and want to jump at the chance?

Get a clue!

Men and women, please, if someone is not looking at you, please don’t yell at them to get their attention. If you know for a fact, that you are highly unattractive, stop making a pest of yourself with people of the opposite sex, that you know you are never going to get. It is just sad.

I am confused why the fellas that sell bootleg DVD‘s in the parking lot of Wal-Mart are always quick to try to pick up a date. Although your entrepreneurial spirit is admired, dude, you are selling illegal merchandise in the parking lot of Wal-Mart! You don’t need a date, you need a lawyer! You are a criminal. And secondly, yelling at women with children, “I got that Puss in Boots” is kind of tacky. I saw three women want to slap him.

It’s not just these situations that individuals need to get a clue. I am going to list some other areas that may require individuals to make a few mental adjustments.

  1. If you are living in an apartment and are planning a $10k wedding, maybe that money should be used as a down payment on a house or condo. Why start your life together in debt for cake and a DJ?
  2. If you are making payments on $40k car and are renting the furniture in your rented apartment, get a clue, and use it. You don’t even have a garage to park that car in.
  3. If she slept with you on the first date, then it is highly unlikely that she is going to be faithful in your relationship.
  4. If he has to call his Mama to discuss every problem that you have, then maybe he’s just not that into you.
  5. If her Mama has keys to your place, you may as well move out.
  6. If she is dressed to the nines, with hair and nails always done, then she is probably not managing her money well. This does not apply if she is making bank. If she is yelling welcome to “Arby’s” or “Welcome to Moe‘s,” the initial statement stands.
  7. If his phone goes off all day and night, then I’m sure, his homies aren’t the only one texting him.
  8. If her favorite shows are reality based centering around a great deal of drama, then she probably lives her life the same way; with a great deal of drama.
  9. If he is a sports fanatic, then please expect to lose him on Sunday evenings to the game. You knew this, give him his space or learn about football.

And last but not least, our number ten and last thought that was rattling around in my head,

  1. What you did to get them in your life, is what you have to continue to do, to keep them. If you only pretended to like basketball to get a date with him, then I advise you to invest in a Jersey to wear on game days. If you swore you loved Opera and the ballet, let’s hope you have cleaned your dinner jacket.

We all have moments to dumbness, however, life gives you several annotations throughout the day. I call them clues. Next time one pops into your line of sight, please grab it, and put it to good use.

What You Won’t Do For Love….

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    It is sometimes difficult to hear the pain a loved one endures at the hands of what they believe is love. I just can’t recall a time in my life when love made me do dumb things that I could not recover from or a time when love told me to be stupid. I cannot recall anyone in my life that I loved more than I love myself and my mental well-being. I definitely cannot recall a time when love or being in love put me in debt or impacted my credit rating. Can I ask why people do these things?

Please don’t misunderstand. When I was in my twenties I did some crazy things, and often made a fool of myself over a boy/fella who could have cared less or just didn’t return the sentiment. In my thirties as a married woman, I thought of doing some things that would not be too smart, but I was wise enough to make the right choices. I was reacting on a feeling of maybe I was missing something and possibly needed to make sure. Common sense took over and made me realize that what I currently had was not worth the risk of losing what we had built. I also realize that common sense is also not that common.

It can’t be if we can find ourselves making irrational decisions about our lives, the well-being of our children and finances, based upon our need to have someone say, “I love you.” Our need to connect to another human can put us in mental jeopardy and can invoke insane doses of asininity. This need can allow us to let down our defenses as another person chips away at our self-esteem. With self-esteem in jeopardy, defenses down, thoughts become jumbled and we begin to miss sleep. Sleep deprivation mixed with slow self-esteem and craving for love is a recipe for disaster. Are you really this in love, or are you in love with being in love?

Don’t be stupid. If what you are doing would seem insipid if it was happening to your friend, how can you not see how see how ridiculous it looks on you? You must then make yourself a list and write down the things you won’t do for love. Being stupid is at the top of mine.




Midlife Brain Cramp

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On Friday, my husband and I celebrated 20 years of marriage.  As pleased as I am on our personal, professional and parental progress, I had to take a moment and assess where I am as a woman. Honestly, I think I am having  a mid-life brain cramp.

            I had lunch with boss on Friday and she began to discuss my career path and options with the company and I said, “hmm, no thanks”.  She looked at  me as if I had lost my mind.  I haven’t lost my mind, I just want to enjoy my life. I don’t want to climb any corporate ladders, I did that in the ‘80s and 90’s.  I don’t want to be in charge of anyone or anything, I did that the first ten years of the millennium.  I want to show up, do my job, get my check and offer advice on “what you shoulda did…..”  Sure, sure, I am all about making a difference in my community, but only if it is not an inconvenience. No, it is not selfish and I will tell you why. 

            There are organizations that can use my expertise and guidance, but the mentality of today’s worker have changed. You not only want my guidance and expertise, but you want me to do all the work, make you look good and you want me to do it almost for free. I’m all about giving back, not giving away, if I am giving it away, then I am supporting my personal charities.  I would like a tax write off for that one please. My brain is not that cramped  where it will cause me to suffer from a rapid onset of stupidity.  

Why I am suffering from a mid-life brain cramp is that my personal space needs to be shifted. I need to refocus my karmic energies and shift the dynamic of my brain’s synergy and where it needs to take me. I have been surfing the net and I have found some great things that will aid me in unknotting the grey matter that I call friend. I sought items that would shift the Chi flow of my personal living space and infuse new energy into my home, which is the center of my world. In turn, I know it will shift the “whoo-sah” that has left me “‘cause me brain is tired” of being stuffed with items I really don’t need to process. (No, that is not a typo). I need to dump the free radicals of my  friends issues, what is going on at the office, and reality television, that is clumping my grey matter into soggy heaps of dingy pudding.

            First, redo the art on the walls. I found this fantastic web site  where you can get original art work for a fraction of the cost and you get to choose the medium and the price point, and I am really feeling this Prickly Pear piece for $65! 

I think it moves me.

Even a cactus has a bloom.  He focused on just one pad that is growing, just a sum of the parts, and not the cacti as a whole.  That is deep.

The green inspires me to think outside the box and I think I want to find new ways to also go green. 

Check out for ideas how to reduce your carbon foot print.

And last but not least, I see no reason whatsoever to reinvent the wheel. We as a society have pretty much come up with everything there is to make life, chores, relationships, child rearing and even sex, easier.  So started to search for a means to let someone with too much time on their hands take care of the things I don’t have time and or refuse to make time to do. 

I found her.  She is the consumer queen., she is even a Frigidaire test drive mom.  How in the bleep do I get to test drive the latest  appliances?

I don’t know but I am about to find out.

Until next time, find a way to reset your whoo-sah and check back in with me.