Well that;s what she told me.
It seems like such a simple concept, but we limit our success by a limited belief system. Much like The Little Engine That Could, if we repeat the mantra that we think we can, we will. If we allow ourselves to be consumed with negative ideals, thoughts and surrounded by negative people, your little light will not shine.
Deborah Francis & Hasheem Francis have teamed up to bring the women’s version of the life-changing book, Built to Prosper. They clearly explain the ways people fall victim to have-not and do-nothing thinking. The husband and wife business duo use real-talk to delve into what limiting thinking can do.
The nine principles of self mastery tests your thinking about how you feel about yourself. When you learn the principles and how to apply them to your life, you will quickly understand how to:
• Get exactly what you want.
• Promote Win-Win relationships.
• Take responsibility for your life.
• Achieve the success you want.
• Stay healthy in mind, body, and spirit.
• Be a winner, no matter what others say!
What does it take to make those individuals with no censors listen up? I can admit in the 80’s I had no Gaydar and flirted with a few fellas that were not interested in my type. I have even made some financial decisions of buying a great pair of shoes over eating. However, where is that invisible line that you do not cross that aids you in tuning in and listening up?
Yesterday, I was dressed for success and headed to a very important meeting. I was looking like this with a tailored suit. I was sharp. I was focused. I was about to make a few power moves.
However, my new cash diet requires that I pay for my gas with cash. I get out of the car at the local BP, and I hear a cat call. Who still does that? Then Mr. Oooh Hoo, Oh Baby Baby, had the audacity, the pomposity, the unmitigated gall, to ask me if I was married. I turned around to see what rude man was yelling at me, and this is what I see! Really? Seriously?
One, I was hurt that as good as I looked, that this was all I could get? Damn. I’m devastated.
Second, what was there about me that made this fool think he had a chance?
And last but not least, what clue did you miss that made you feel froggy and want to jump at the chance?
Get a clue!
Men and women, please, if someone is not looking at you, please don’t yell at them to get their attention. If you know for a fact, that you are highly unattractive, stop making a pest of yourself with people of the opposite sex, that you know you are never going to get. It is just sad.
I am confused why the fellas that sell bootleg DVD‘s in the parking lot of Wal-Mart are always quick to try to pick up a date. Although your entrepreneurial spirit is admired, dude, you are selling illegal merchandise in the parking lot of Wal-Mart! You don’t need a date, you need a lawyer! You are a criminal. And secondly, yelling at women with children, “I got that Puss in Boots” is kind of tacky. I saw three women want to slap him.
It’s not just these situations that individuals need to get a clue. I am going to list some other areas that may require individuals to make a few mental adjustments.
- If you are living in an apartment and are planning a $10k wedding, maybe that money should be used as a down payment on a house or condo. Why start your life together in debt for cake and a DJ?
- If you are making payments on $40k car and are renting the furniture in your rented apartment, get a clue, and use it. You don’t even have a garage to park that car in.
- If she slept with you on the first date, then it is highly unlikely that she is going to be faithful in your relationship.
- If he has to call his Mama to discuss every problem that you have, then maybe he’s just not that into you.
- If her Mama has keys to your place, you may as well move out.
- If she is dressed to the nines, with hair and nails always done, then she is probably not managing her money well. This does not apply if she is making bank. If she is yelling welcome to “Arby’s” or “Welcome to Moe‘s,” the initial statement stands.
- If his phone goes off all day and night, then I’m sure, his homies aren’t the only one texting him.
- If her favorite shows are reality based centering around a great deal of drama, then she probably lives her life the same way; with a great deal of drama.
- If he is a sports fanatic, then please expect to lose him on Sunday evenings to the game. You knew this, give him his space or learn about football.
And last but not least, our number ten and last thought that was rattling around in my head,
- What you did to get them in your life, is what you have to continue to do, to keep them. If you only pretended to like basketball to get a date with him, then I advise you to invest in a Jersey to wear on game days. If you swore you loved Opera and the ballet, let’s hope you have cleaned your dinner jacket.
We all have moments to dumbness, however, life gives you several annotations throughout the day. I call them clues. Next time one pops into your line of sight, please grab it, and put it to good use.
Next June will mark my 22nd wedding anniversary. Hubby and I are planning a really cool vacation and I plan to fully enjoy myself without cumbersome worries of how are we going to eat when we get back from this lovely little trip. I have begun to save large chunks which mean there is little room left for play money. I thereby had to put myself on a cash diet. I can only use my credit card or debit card for emergencies. This past week I have truly learned the value of a dollar. I have also learned that there are something’s that I will not buy, not even for a dollar!
As I previously stated in one of my early post, I have begun to coupon. I am now a step below extreme couponing and hovering around extreme value shopping. I have become, what I consider, to be very clever. I am recycling everything from pieces of left over roast, which are transformed into taco night, or in this weather, a hearty stew. The stews are great to also use up the leftover peas and carrots in the fridge. I am even stocking up the pantry and deep freezer. Let me tell you how.
As I was leaving the house to start my bargain shopping, I noticed the planters on the front porch needed fall plants. Normally, by this time, I would have added some Mums, but I wanted to stretch what I have until it is time to put in the Icicle Pansies. I head over to my friendly neighborhood Lowes. Instead of shopping in the front, I head to the rear of the garden center to THAT rack. Yes, the rack of shelves with sad, lonely, and deserted plants. I have found the ones on the ends are the healthiest and easy to revive. I picked up two hanging Tahitian Bridal Veils for $1 each. They need to be repotted so next I head to Roses. Instead of purchasing the name brand bags of potting soil for five bucks, I opt for the local no name bags for $1. Hey, it’s dirt. I am going to add some plant food when I repot them anyway. Now it’s time to get really busy.
I am headed to the buy one get one sale at Food Lion. I have already added the sale coupons to my MVP card buy downloading the digital coupons to my frequent shopper cards. The hard copy of manufacturer coupons in hand, I have a $1 off of two boxes of Cheerios, which just happen to be on sale for buy one get one. Armed with my sale ad in hand, I pick up bags of chicken breast, shrimp, Doritos, and a large 39 oz container of coffee. I save $1 on the coffee, which I purchased for $7.99. I am on a roll. I purchased high end ice cream at buy one get one along with high end butter crackers. Zesta Whole Wheat Crackers at buy one get one box is great deal; grabbed two of those.
I load up the mama mobile and make my way to Kroger. They are having a ten for $10 sale. Here, you have to be very careful. Last week, the same store brand vegetables I got for $.88 per bag are now in the 10 for ten sale; this is not good friends. I did pick and choose which items were a good deal for a buck, but Lipton Rice mixes are a dollar anyway, so this is not really a good buy. Staples purchased, I now have my local independent grocer’s ad, or the local IGA. These stores are great for pantry items. There is a five for $5 sale going on so I stock up on two pounds bags of rice, hot sauce, ketchup can goods and dry beans. I also grab a ten pound bag of chicken leg quarters for $6. I do have a freezer safe bags in the trunk for my cold items. These wonderful bags keep food cold for 3 hours.
My last stop is to the local Bakery outlet. Tuesday and Friday’s at the John Derst bakery outlet has bread on sale for $.79. Wheat bread, cinnamon raisin bread, Kaiser Hamburger buns and hot dog rolls are all for $.79; with no buying limits. I have found that you can freeze bread for up to 3 months and when you defrost, it is good as new.
My pantry is stocked. My fridge and freezer is full and my bank account is not empty. I have a full tank of gas, my hair is done, and I have a few bucks left in my working account for just in cases. I did all of this today, including my hair, for a mere $160.00. It’s okay, you can say, “ooohhhh!” I know I did.
I must close out now because my new issue of All You arrived in the mail. The cover says there are $94.55 worth of coupons inside. I have work to do.
I want to believe, I really do, but after listening to non-satellite radio, I am convinced that romance is dead.
“I want your ugly, I want your disease, I want your everything as long as it’s free.” – Lady Gaga
What the bleep? This is not romantic music.
I don’t blame the music industry.
I don’t blame lame TV shows that require you to get a rose in order to feel relevant.
I don’t blame movies for forgetting how to get it right.
I blame women.
Yes, you, Ms. Bring a movie and pick up some Chinese food for our date night. That is not a date; that is a booty call. When did we as women stop feeling as if our feelings mattered? Why is it that we no longer want him to be able to ignite our fires, but we are okay if he can just buy a match. However, this cannot just be one sided, my ladies, when was the last time you even got close to the oven to get him heated? He needs as much romance as we do. Enough of the puppy love and unadventurous dates, time to add some spark to your repertoire and some spark to your weekend. Date night is about to get grown up. According to Men’s Health Magazine online, there are lists, and lists and more lists on how to get it right. There is a list of what women believe makes the perfect date. If you can’t get it right, you can at least get close.
- 5 Sensual Touching Tricks to Turn Her On
- Ace 5 Crucial Relationship Moments
- 50 Things Women Wish Men Knew
- 5 Ways to Please Her Every Time
- 10 New Places to Have Sex
Now this is a good start.
Granted, not every date can be expensive or extensive; sometimes the best dates in the world can be at home. I have inserted a nice link here for you to find ways to get your romance on in your own home. What I am suggesting here is to use your imagination to exercise your romantic elbow. Flex that sucker and give the person in your life a chance to remember why you are together. We are not talking about putting on a pair of your best Victoria’s Secret gear, or showing your pole dance moves, this is about getting into your partner’s head and saying I appreciate having you in my life. I want you to take a minute to re-evaluate why you wake up next to this person, how you got here and remind them that your heart is still beating and romance in your mind is still alive.
I will leave you with this link that gives you 100 great date night ideas. While you are on your date, I challenge you to learn one new thing about your partner, date or mate. You cannot honestly know how to romance your partner if you do not fully understand with whom you are sharing your life. I want to believe that romance is alive. Come back and share with me why you also think that romance is not dead but alive in your life. I can’t wait to read your comments and just in case, here is your red rose to let you know you are a keeper.
August 27, 2011
Me, a snob? What did I do?
I am a deep complexioned woman and therefore there will never be an occasion for me to wear canary yellow shoes. My lack of enthusiasm in trying on something that I will never buy, let alone wear, does not make me a snob, it makes me a smart shopper. After quickly explaining this to Sales Lady from Hell, she told me it wasn’t just the shoes, it was my whole demeanor. She further went on to say that my “aura” from the moment I walked in the store was air of superiority. My eyebrows went up. I breathed deep and I assume she expected me to attack her with vicious words.
I merely asked, “When did you stop dreaming?”
She shut the heck up.
Her attack on me had nothing to do with my aura, my feelings, or even the canary yellow shoes. Her attack was on my confidence and the lack of her own. There was something in my ability to say no to a very aggressive sales person and not be intimidated, rubbed her all wrong. She felt she needed to cut me down to size. She needed to let me know how she felt. She had words that were burgeoning in her brain that needed to be unloaded on me.
Me, the Snob.
I will admit I am a bit of a snob for I am always seeking new opportunities to blossom. I also limit the amount of negative energy I allow to flow through my body by reducing the influence of processed trash to enter my system. This includes reality television. This includes bad wine, processed foods, drama queens, drama kings, individuals with poor judgment and those who always want you to listen to their problems. This makes me a snob? No this makes me smart.
I am a dreamer. I like to think of new ways that I can grow, evolve, and continue to learn.
I have read Beowulf in Olde English and I even laughed when I read the Canterbury Tales. Yet, my some of my favorite writers are Julie Garwood , Janet Evanovich and Dianne McKiney Whetstone. I like diversity. I love literature but I appreciate great characters and a good storyline. I also love Elmore Leonard, and local authors. I am not a snob, I am a reader.
I deserve the best in life and I also deserve and opportunity to try to better myself. I will not do so at the detriment of another. Although my dreams may seem to some, large, but I have a large imagination. I have traveled to four of the seven continents and plan to do the other 3. I want to enjoy the fruits of a life well lived and therefore I can not stop dreaming.
Did you stop dreaming?
Have you accepted that there is nothing on television and instead of picking up your old favorite hobby, you sit there and veg out on the REAL Housewives of Spoiled Hell?
Get up, walk into your craft room, extra room, laundry room and find that hobby that you put down. Pick it up and think about the projects you want to work on and the projects you have not finished. Think about the things you told yourself five years ago that you wanted to do and write down how far off you are and what it would take to get you back on the road.
Today is your day to become a S.N.O.B. Today is the day for you to seek new opportunities to blossom.
You can get past being a snob by actually following your dream and making it blossom.
I often chuckle when I hear my friends and colleagues boasts about being a grown woman, then I am more amused when I watch them make immature decisions. I watch them make choices that are bad for their personal well-being an the moment, and choices that are bad for their future. The stresses of life and emotional loneliness can be contributing factors to bad decision making.
I am often asked, what should I do— and as a grown woman, I have learned to sit and listen, and realize that my friends thought process, do not neccessarily equate to me to interjecting mine. What works for me, may not work for you, so here is my advice to the many women who often ask me the same question, as well as my advice to all who read this post.
If you are at a crossroads in your life, sit down in the middle of the street and make a list of where you have been, and where you would like to go. As simple as it may seem, for some, just sitting still long enough to write a list –is an issue. However, you can not fully understand where you are trying to go, until you have identified, label, misnomer, or assigned the wrong psychological principle, to what you will soon learn to call– bull puckey.
That is what it is,bullpuckey— it is all the crap that you have convinced yourself is important, that in actuality has no real relevance in your life. It is the proverbial time on the treadmill where you are running inside of the the little cage which you have boxed yourself in, that you are NOW calling a fulfilling life. If you have not poured yourself a cup of tea, sat down with a good book or your favorite magazine without the tv on, to just read for 30 minutes, then how you are getting on in your life, well it is bull puckey!
If you have not or can not remember what you like to do for fun that is not associated with your husband or children, then how you are living needs to be reevaluated. If you can not remember the last time you and a girl friend sat down and had a two-hour lunch talking about nothing….and realized it was the best conversation you have had in a long time, then stop.
Put down the laptop, get off of Facebook, and sign out of your Twitter account. Get up off your butt and plug back into life. Decide in the next week what you would like to do to better yourself that can be done in incremental steps, and make a plan. I will start you off with some suggestions. You want to know why, because I am happy. Not in the moment, not for a reason, but because it is the way that I am living. I grew into my happiness and I want to help you grow into yours.
Here are my suggestions for the month of April 2010.
First we will start by getting you organized, to get the clutter out of your life. I know, you have a Blackberry or some other gadget you are paying too much money for and don’t really know how to use. Let’s first simplify with www.cozi.com and get everything in one place.
I also want you to start thinking about your summer vacation for the family and for you and your man (yes your man, and if that is not what you call him or how you think of him, we will address that in June) .
For the family, you can save some money, give back to America and help the planet all in one. http://www.thedailygreen.com/environmental-news/latest/eco-travel-volunteer-vacations-50022309.
Then plan a quiet get away for you and your man with www.cruises-4-free.com.
Tody is the day you take the first step to grow into your happiness. I check back with you in a month and see how you are doing.
All my best,