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Can you hear me now?

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          If you want to understand what is going on across the country or take the pulse of the nation, take a look at the commercials. Commercials can give you a perfect snapshot of what is happening in the workplace and where our youth are headed.  Recently, I was unable to sleep and noticed this Vonage commercial. I found very little, if any humor in this advertisement.

            If you look closely at the commercial, there are several people waiting in line.  This is money that shop owner is not making and his customers are not being served.  Sadly, this occurrence is not just happening in this advertisement, but in stores everywhere.  Here is the rub. It may appear cute in the ad, but in reality, this employee is costing you money.

This same, self-serving employee is working in stores and businesses across the country.  This employee is probably working next to you.  Oh, you complain about them being slackers, but really, are you doing anything about it? In our current economy, we cannot afford to be complacent.  Companies are sending jobs overseas because we as American workers feel entitled and often take our home lives to work. Our cell phones are becoming an extension of our hands and we are becoming less and less efficient and more proficient at goofing off.

The gentleman in line who pretends to choke the waitress is symbolic of how many of us feel when we patronize Mom and Pop shops.  We want to give them the business, because we know, that if America is going to become upright again, it is going to take the small business owner to make it happen.  However, bad service is not rewarded with return customers. We live in an instant age.  If I cannot get it here, I can get it across the street.  I am not going to wait for your employee to get off the phone to provide me service.  I am going to walk out of this door, take my business elsewhere, and never come back. Again, it is instant.  I am going to post it to my Facebook page and then I am going to Tweet it.  In less than an hour, nearly 500 people are going to know that your business provided me lousy service.  Hey, can you hear me now?

If your employees, co-workers, and subordinates are not there to serve the customers, but to pull a paycheck, help them find employment elsewhere. Someone else could really use that job.  If these  employees are not engaged and feel as if they are no longer a part of helping your company grow, then obviously where they are working is not the right fit. It is not the right fit your customers and not the right fit for your bottom line.

Bad service costs you money.  Bad employees cost companies millions of dollars. Loss of revenue means doors are closing.  Closed doors means there are no jobs for our kids, our retirees and eventually us. I have no qualms whatsoever calling an employee out. If your job is to provide me, the customer, service, then call your mother, brother, baby daddy on your own time and your own dime.

Do all of us a favor. Put down your cell phone.  You don’t look important. If anything you look ignorant.  If what you have to say is really that important, excuse yourself to make the call.  Don’t hold up the line, don’t hold up my time, and stop holding your employer hostage with your bad habits.

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But She is My Friend…………………….

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After the week I have had, I am thoroughly convinced that people are losing their minds! First I receive a text out of the blue from a friend who just has to see me, and invites me for drinks on Saturday night. Secondly, I receive an email from another friend who is itching to scrapbook but want to have lunch first and them get started about 3 pm after her hubby comes back to be able to sit with the dog. Last, but not least, I literally run into an old friend in Wal-Mart, who avoids me. Me? What did I do to you? She treated me as if she caught me sleeping with her husband.

Let me back up for a minute and start with friend one and the call out of nowhere. Initially, a month ago, she calls and tells me she is having a get together for the ladies at the church and she wants me to come over. She did not invite me as a guest, but as an extra pair of hands. I guess this was supposed to be our bonding time. She actually expected me to show up and work my butt off serving her guest. I refused.

Fast forward two months, her over complicated life is about to swallow her up and she knows the perfect friend to call. This of course would be me. How the bleep do you figure that I have nothing better to do with time other than make you feel better about yourself and your sorry life choices? She was buying lunch, I wanted hot wings, so I went. I made her feel better and she was proud to say she calls me friend.

The second friend, which, we haven’t know each other that long, we really aren’t that close, and really haven’t had a chance to truly bond. Our first night out with her and her hubby, they brought the 10 year old. Understandaly, you didn’t have a sitter. Second time we met, she left the windows down on the car and I thought, well maybe she doesn’t like air conditioning. There was a dog in the back seat. I was informed that the dog had some issues and did not like to be left home alone.

Two weeks later, we are planning to get together to scrapbook. She said she has to bring her dog.

I. Don’t. Have. A . Dog.

She said he would be fine if I had shade in my back yard. What makes you think I want dog crap in my yard? I can see making a concession for your 10 year old, even considering I don’t have one, but for your dog? You have lost your damn mind!

Last but not least, to my former friend in the store, I am sorry if I have done something to offend you. I am even sorrier if you have done something to offend me that I have yet to learn. I am sorry that we have come to this point in our relationship. Which leads me to this thought, why do I call these people friend?

I am starting a running list of my new dirty words and friend comes in at number two. I am uncertain if we have entered such and electronic world where knowing the intimacies of your life via your Tweets and Facebook posts, makes us close. It does not. It makes you a person who is losing touch with reality. Where were you in your book of “Hello, God, it’s me Magaret…” that no one answered you back?

If your friends do not have small children, then it is not okay to bring your child to dinner. If your friend does not have a dog, then why would you want to bring yours to my house? If I don’t call you to vent and unload my problems, then why do you think it is okay to do this to me? Why, because you call me friend? Out of curiosity, what do you think I call you?

If you are avoiding me in the store, then the problem lies within you. I have not wronged you and you will not afford me the opportunity to make it right. Dictionary.com defines friend as “a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.” If you hold these people you call friend in high regard, then treat them as such and not as a person who owes you something, your personal counselor, or someone you need to hate in order to feel alive.

On the other shoe, if she gets drunk every time you go out, and you have to be their babysitter, you can also scratch them off your list as a friend. If you constantly have to bail them out, literally and figuratively, then maybe you should not call them friend. Today I am making a list, and noting the qualities I like in those who support me and I them and why I choose to call them my friend. I am glad you are on my list.

Love, the New Dirty, Four Letter Word……

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September 17, 2011

The other day, I was in the grocery store and I saw a Mother beating the crap out of her kid because he kept asking her to buy him items that were evidently out of her budget. It did not take me long to
quickly access that this was the case, because she reiterated, by yelling at the six year old stating, “I told yo azz in da car, don’t be in here begging for Sh*t, cause I can’t afford it!” Okay, that was understood, but the child did not understand it, and here is the part that I did not understand. She saw me watching her, and turned, bold as day and told me, “Ain’t nobody gonna Love my child the way I do, and I have to teach them now that life is hard.” If this isL, then I would hate to see how you deal with someone you don’t like, let alone hate. This is where we come to our discussion for this week and the dirty word that I am quickly starting to despise myself, Love.

Love is the one word in the Bible, for all you naysayers that want to argue that we should Love our fellow man, which is defined.

7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 8 Love never fails

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

-1 Corinthians 13

Evidently our Mom of the Year has never read this passage, and neither have a lot of other people for that matter. As a Mother, it is our job to care for, protect and see to the needs of our children. It is our job to make sure they understand what “good” Love is so they can distinguish the parameters of bad Love. However, in the name of Love, there are countless atrocities against children by mothers who want to keep a man in the home, because she Loves him. There are atrocities committed against children by fathers who didn’t want to go outside of the home for sexual fulfillment, because they Love their families. There are groups of men who Love young boys so much that they will snatch them off the street or buy one from a struggling poor family, so they can Love them to death. There are families who so Love their children they will sell them to the first truck coming, so they can have a better life and not starve. Yes, all of this, in the name of love.

    Children are not the only victims of the dirty word, so are our teens and young adults, who are convinced they are in Love. They date older guys who Love and buy them things. This Love convinces them that we are one, and you do not need a condom. Love has just given you an STD, or AIDs and therefore has just sentenced you to death. Just remember, your partner did say that they Love you.

    At any hospital on a full moon, or a payday Friday night, Love sends at least 50 women in each city to the emergency room. Their spouse, man, mate, shack up buddy, has used Love taped to a stick, to beat the crap out of them. Somehow or other he even convinced her that in doing so, Love would help her to understand his growing need to use his fist on her face. However this time, Love completely took over, went too far, and took her life force. Love is now putting him in jail for manslaughter.

Love, always protects and always hopes. This is the mantra that is chanted by millions of housewives across the world. This is the hope of spouses who know and understand that those whispered phone calls in the middle of the night, are not to your partners mother to discuss her arthritis. Love, somehow walked over to your spouse, whispered in their ear, and convinced them that they still had it. What it is, and why it should be shared, is beyond me, but the person with whom they are sharing it, Loves them. As the argument continues, while your partner is sitting there with a tub of ice cream, feeling dejected, you boldly state, “They Love me, for me.”

No, they Love your representative. The real you is a liar, a cheat and has dishonored your vows. The real you smiles in your partner’s face, while the representative is out sticking his face in someone else’s partner. Love talked you into believing your own press, your own hype and has told you that this new representative is the “real you” and that it Loves this new direction. The new direction is going to be one of loneliness. The 80’s are over, you are no longer twenty, and the only thing you can capably do all night is sleep. I hope Love was kind enough to tell you that! Love is just a dirty word used on a small scale to make others feel big.

Let’s use our dirty word on a larger scale. Let’s use it toward patriotism. Love has told many a believer that in order to get to heaven, you must love your God and your country. This Love of God and country makes you want to kill others who do not think as you think, Love as you Love, or worship as you do. Love took down the World Trade Center. Love created the Tea Party. Love created a movement of “yes, we can!” The Tea Party, Congress, and Love banded together and proved to us all that “No, you can’t.” Love of money, created balloon mortgages, Ponzi schemes, and a Wall Street that ate a country alive. Love of a large profit margin moved our businesses out of our country and created unemployment. Love has made the most powerful country in the world, powerless, and a suburb of China.

I do not like this word Love. Love is a liar. Love is misused, abused, and put on a street corner to sell itself. Love shows up to your house and whispers sweet nothings in your ear with one hand in your pants and the other in your wallet. Love uses manipulation to make you believe that it is there for you, and will forsake you for all others, while it caresses your cheek with its left hand, and smacks the butt cheek of its Lover with the right. Love calls you at night and talks to you for 30 minutes making you feel appreciated, then hangs up and calls another Bitch and tells her the same thing. Love lies in bed beside you at night massaging your ego, and next week is at a flea bag hotel with some internet person who is well hung. Love is a dirty four letter word that is overused.

Stop it. Think about what you are saying, and why you are saying it, because what you are saying and doing does not match. Love has made you into a hypocrite. Yeah, yeah, Love you too!


Getting Past Being a Snob

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August 27, 2011

Taken aback by the attack of the sales person in the store, I stood there aghast when she called me a snob.

Me, a snob? What did I do?

I am a deep complexioned woman and therefore there will never be an occasion for me to wear canary yellow shoes. My lack of enthusiasm in trying on something that I will never buy, let alone wear, does not make me a snob, it makes me a smart shopper. After quickly explaining this to Sales Lady from Hell, she told me it wasn’t just the shoes, it was my whole demeanor. She further went on to say that my “aura” from the moment I walked in the store was air of superiority. My eyebrows went up. I breathed deep and I assume she expected me to attack her with vicious words.

I merely asked, “When did you stop dreaming?”

She shut the heck up.

Her attack on me had nothing to do with my aura, my feelings, or even the canary yellow shoes. Her attack was on my confidence and the lack of her own. There was something in my ability to say no to a very aggressive sales person and not be intimidated, rubbed her all wrong. She felt she needed to cut me down to size. She needed to let me know how she felt. She had words that were burgeoning in her brain that needed to be unloaded on me.

Me, the Snob.

I will admit I am a bit of a snob for I am always seeking new opportunities to blossom. I also limit the amount of negative energy I allow to flow through my body by reducing the influence of processed trash to enter my system. This includes reality television. This includes bad wine, processed foods, drama queens, drama kings, individuals with poor judgment and those who always want you to listen to their problems. This makes me a snob? No this makes me smart.

I am a dreamer. I like to think of new ways that I can grow, evolve, and continue to learn.

I have read Beowulf in Olde English and I even laughed when I read the Canterbury Tales. Yet, my some of my favorite writers are Julie Garwood , Janet Evanovich and Dianne McKiney Whetstone. I like diversity. I love literature but I appreciate great characters and a good storyline. I also love Elmore Leonard, and local authors. I am not a snob, I am a reader.

I deserve the best in life and I also deserve and opportunity to try to better myself. I will not do so at the detriment of another. Although my dreams may seem to some, large, but I have a large imagination. I have traveled to four of the seven continents and plan to do the other 3. I want to enjoy the fruits of a life well lived and therefore I can not stop dreaming.

Did you stop dreaming?

Have you accepted that there is nothing on television and instead of picking up your old favorite hobby, you sit there and veg out on the REAL Housewives of Spoiled Hell?

Stop it.

Get up, walk into your craft room, extra room, laundry room and find that hobby that you put down. Pick it up and think about the projects you want to work on and the projects you have not finished. Think about the things you told yourself five years ago that you wanted to do and write down how far off you are and what it would take to get you back on the road.

Today is your day to become a S.N.O.B. Today is the day for you to seek new opportunities to blossom.

You can get past being a snob by actually following your dream and making it blossom.

Is your smartphone making you an idiot?

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     You are riding down the highway and your cell phone starts to vibrate, you know it is a text message, however, you are going about 45 miles an hour in rush hour traffic.  What do you?  Do you reach down and grab the phone to see who is texting you or do you ignore it until you get to a stop sign?  95% of people will pick up the phone and “see who this is?” and risk every life on the road including their own, for what, a quick message of “Where u @?”

And as much as I love technology, I love living even more!  It is not just a text messaging that has gotten out of control, but our inability to disengage from our cell phones that are turning normal everyday people into ignorant, raging morons.  Don’t be offended, for if you are not the offender in this instance you have been at least once in the near past.  Here are some prime examples of idiot phone offenses that are lowering our intelligence quotients and our ability to be kind to one another.

App Addlepate: Yes, this is person who has an app to perform every function they can possibly think of but fails to train them how to be a better person.  Better people take a moment to appreciate the live person in front of you versus the virtual connection reaching out to you. Is there an APP to teach you life skills?

Bluetooth Blockhead: Yeah for you, you have a bluetooth, but honestly, do you have to walk up behind me, conversing with your imaginary friend with your outside voice? Having a bluetooth is great for hands free calling if you are on a long road trip, but really, your GPS comes bluetooth enabled, so once outside of the car, take the stupid thing off.  You don’t look important, you look like someone who spends too much time on the phone and your extra money is being used to pay for unneeded cell services.

Conversation Cretin:  I am trying to have a face to face, one on one conversation with you, please pay attention, I don’t need to have a conversation with the top of your head while you respond to frequent buzzing that appears to have your remotely programmed like Pavlov’s dog.

Dining Dimwit: I have a girlfriend that I refuse to go out to eat with and lately, I just hate to spend time with her.  Why?  Her phone never stops going off!  Her husband, her kids, her father, all seem to have an incessant need to connect with her the minute she leaves their line of sight.  One, it is rude and tells the person with whom you are with, that they are not important and unworthy of your time.  Two, your family and kids have no respect for your time, and last but not least, it is just plain rude.

Dialing Dunderhead: How many times do you need to apologize for your butt, your purse, your dog or the 3-year-old speed calling on your phone because you refuse to lock the screen.

Facebook Fanatic: Yes I love my friends and enjoy their post, but no I am not going to respond to every posting on my wall, every request to add more fish on Farmville, join your Mafia, or accept your hearts of blessings.  Do it at home on your own time.

Fast Food Fool:  At the counter at the sandwich shop, on the phone, trying to place an order, talking to the young lady behind the counter, while yelling at your spouse, child or in law on the phone.  Why not just finish the call, place your order, pay for the order, pick up the order and call the person on the phone as you head back outside.

Instant Message Imbecile: Yes, I know you need an answer soon, but does it have to be right now?  You are reducing my productivity by forcing me to stop and answer you.  If I did not answer your last 5 instant messages, maybe I am busy.  Maybe I fell down the well and Lassie went to get Timmy, and maybe I just don’t want to answer you.

Loud Lamebrain:   I know you are upset, I know they don’t understand, but really, neither do I.  I don’t understand why everyone in the room, the hall, the bathroom, the restaurant and any other public place has to be tortured with your conversation and lack of mastery of your emotions? Tone it down and shut it up!

Meeting Moron: You are in a meeting, why is your phone on unless the conference call is coming in on your line and everyone in the room should be privy to the conversation.  If not, please turn off your phone, my time is valuable too, don’t waste it by sending messages to your friends.

Picture Pinhead:  You do realize that even if you don’t open it, you will still be charged for receiving the picture of the dancing penis that was not funny when you were 12 and is not funny now. If you are in an accident and I am your insurance agent, send me a picture mail.  If not, send it via email that does not cost me anything, and 9 times out of 10, I don’t really want to see it.

Sync Simpleton:  How many times of day do you need to sync it to your lap top? You don’t need to beam me your V-card, I have your business card and a card scanner, I have your info. I know how to reach you, besides your text messages has ALL of your contact info, just like your email.

Tunes Twit:.  I have one friend that I like to call every day just to see which song will be playing today. How many ringtones do you really need, and why do I have to listen to “Single Ladies”, or “Blessed” or any other subjugation of your musical choices simply because I need to call you?  You are an adult, your phone should ring, if you are available answer it, if not let it go to voice mail.

Twitter Twerp:  Really, do we need a play by-play of your day? Enough said.

Voicemail Victim: I don’t really want to leave a message, but if I do, will you please take the time to listen to what I have to say, before you call me back to say “I saw you called.”  Yes, I called.  I left you a message telling you what I wanted, listen to it and call me back with an answer.

I know technology is a wonderful thing, but please, stop allowing your smart phone to make you an idiot.  Remember the simple manners your mother taught you and put those into play. Now if you will excuse me, I need to send out some hearts, blessings, rob a pimp and steal a car as I build my mafia connection, and build my new life in YoVille.
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Is your independency keeping you single?

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clip_image001I was on Facebook this morning and saw a post that begged the question, of whether men were intimidated by strong independent women?

I found myself utterly and completely fascinated with most of the answers which in part, where mostly defensive. Answers gravitated from recession concession to jealousy, to a real independent woman does not want to lose her independence. There were even comments from one gentleman who boasted about his independent woman’s gift giving and how she provided him pocket money. It was one extreme to the next, but the real question to all of you today, is your independence keeping you single?

Everyone wants to have or belong to someone, but some see companionship as compromise, while others argue why do I need a man to give me what I can provide for myself. Have we, as women, become so competitive in the workplace that we have forgotten the simple art of being a lady. Being a lady has nothing to do with your independence. I will admit, there are some men who are challenged by women who are smarter and more accomplished than themselves, but the majority of men, truly want to spend time in the company of a lady.

Webster’s defines lady as a refined, well spoken and polite woman of high social position and is the parallel of gentleman. This definition is pretty clear but just in case there is some confusion, parallel is complimentary. A woman’s relationship to and with a man, should be complimentary. This does not mean that you have to sacrifice who you are, what you have accomplished or your dreams or ambitions, in order to have a relationship with a mclip_image003an, but to compliment what he does and who he is. A prime example is Michelle Obama. She is complimentary to her husband and her accomplishments and achievements stand on their own, but she relishes her independent mind, but excels in her role as wife and mother. She is the epitome of the example of you can have it, without the sacrifice.

What does it take to have your independence and a great relationship? Take the focus off of being so damned independent and place the focus on being a lady. Place your focus on being complimentary. Place your focus on being parallel and lined up with something other than your own goals. When we remove ourselves from that constant cycle of “me…me…myself…I…wait back to me…” we have the golden opportunity to sit on the side and cheer for someone else. In the end, that is all your man truly wants, is for you to cheer for him once in a while. He is proud of you and what you have done, and he brags about you at the barber shop even though you don’t know it. He says with pride when he visits with his Mom or chats with his Dad about the things you are doing on the job. Can you say the same, without a sadden sigh because he hasn’t reached his full potential? Can you say the same without a snide comment of “now if he would just pick up his drawers, and put them in the hamper…”. Can you say the same without nitpicking him to death over dinner because he ordered a steak and you chose a salad? Here’s a hint sisters, you can graze on lettuce leaves at home. You man wants to see you enjoy some meat and he wants to pay for it! He wants to tell you about his day and what that “Dumb Dave” did at work. He wants to share with you the silly argument that ensued in the locker room or lunch room over some commentary on clip_image005ESPN.

The question is do you want to listen? Or do you have so much on your mind about your day, and what that sneaky Millicent said, or that million dollar deal that is on the table that you know you are about close. More than anything, you are counting the money you are about to spend when the deal does closes and what is your next strategic move.

I am not taking sides, I am just asking the questions that I want you to answer, because if I am thinking it, so is someone else. So I weighed in from a woman’s point of view, give me some feedback with this next question.

Do you think they feel less of a man when dealing with a woman who is able to carry her own load, very successful, and can do things on her own without his help?