August 27, 2011
Me, a snob? What did I do?
I am a deep complexioned woman and therefore there will never be an occasion for me to wear canary yellow shoes. My lack of enthusiasm in trying on something that I will never buy, let alone wear, does not make me a snob, it makes me a smart shopper. After quickly explaining this to Sales Lady from Hell, she told me it wasn’t just the shoes, it was my whole demeanor. She further went on to say that my “aura” from the moment I walked in the store was air of superiority. My eyebrows went up. I breathed deep and I assume she expected me to attack her with vicious words.
I merely asked, “When did you stop dreaming?”
She shut the heck up.
Her attack on me had nothing to do with my aura, my feelings, or even the canary yellow shoes. Her attack was on my confidence and the lack of her own. There was something in my ability to say no to a very aggressive sales person and not be intimidated, rubbed her all wrong. She felt she needed to cut me down to size. She needed to let me know how she felt. She had words that were burgeoning in her brain that needed to be unloaded on me.
Me, the Snob.
I will admit I am a bit of a snob for I am always seeking new opportunities to blossom. I also limit the amount of negative energy I allow to flow through my body by reducing the influence of processed trash to enter my system. This includes reality television. This includes bad wine, processed foods, drama queens, drama kings, individuals with poor judgment and those who always want you to listen to their problems. This makes me a snob? No this makes me smart.
I am a dreamer. I like to think of new ways that I can grow, evolve, and continue to learn.
I have read Beowulf in Olde English and I even laughed when I read the Canterbury Tales. Yet, my some of my favorite writers are Julie Garwood , Janet Evanovich and Dianne McKiney Whetstone. I like diversity. I love literature but I appreciate great characters and a good storyline. I also love Elmore Leonard, and local authors. I am not a snob, I am a reader.
I deserve the best in life and I also deserve and opportunity to try to better myself. I will not do so at the detriment of another. Although my dreams may seem to some, large, but I have a large imagination. I have traveled to four of the seven continents and plan to do the other 3. I want to enjoy the fruits of a life well lived and therefore I can not stop dreaming.
Did you stop dreaming?
Have you accepted that there is nothing on television and instead of picking up your old favorite hobby, you sit there and veg out on the REAL Housewives of Spoiled Hell?
Get up, walk into your craft room, extra room, laundry room and find that hobby that you put down. Pick it up and think about the projects you want to work on and the projects you have not finished. Think about the things you told yourself five years ago that you wanted to do and write down how far off you are and what it would take to get you back on the road.
Today is your day to become a S.N.O.B. Today is the day for you to seek new opportunities to blossom.
You can get past being a snob by actually following your dream and making it blossom.
As I left campus yesterday, I grumbled at the heat; turning up the AC in my little Ford, I began to think of the new car I should buy next year. Pulling away from my parking space, I began to rehash in my mind, my conversation with my boss. Feeling unappreciated, over worked and a little sorry for myself, I started making a mental list of local institutes of higher education. Yes, in my mind, I thought, if they can’t appreciate everything I do for them and the students, I should just look for greener pastures. I looked up as I began to cross the intersection and that is when I saw her….
Based on the appearance of her sweat soaked uniform and the roundness of her tummy, I estimated that the young lady was at last five months pregnant. It was easily 100 degrees outside and she was walking to school. She was not walking from the bus stop. Instead of a water bottle in her hand, there was a stick, I assume to fend off any dogs. She had a backpack that loosely fell from her heavily weighted shoulder and a squint that adorned her face. I noticed the squint because I had to pull down my sunglasses to really see her face. She was hot. She was aggravated. She was walking to school in 100 degree weather. She was pregnant. She was going to get to class. She was committed.
She is committed to her dream.
I felt envious.
I cannot remember the last time I felt that type of commitment to anything other than something short-term that I wanted.
Please note that I did say that I wanted.
This says nothing about the insane semi-commitments to things that I want; again, not the things that I need.
I can say that I am blessed to need so little.
I almost feel greedy for believing that I want so much.
My thoughts go back to the look of determination on her face. She knows that finishing her degree means a new job. A new job means a new way of life. A new job can mean benefits for her and her children. A new job can mean a car and no longer having to walk in inclement or outrageous weather. A new car means independence.
I now felt selfish.
I have not taught this student.
I felt I needed a break from “giving” so much, so I am not teaching a full load this summer and have not had the pleasure of meeting or working with someone so committed to their dreams. How many other truly committed students am I missing out on this summer while I lounge on my couch watching Maury? I had been whining and whimpering because my passion for my chosen occupation was waning or on the downturn as I made the mental transition to what….
I am supposed to be writing.
I am supposed to be authoring a textbook.
I am supposed to be spending quality time with family and friends.
The latter I have a hold on.
My commitment to my dreams…. not so much.
I began to look around my home office for my list of New Year’s Resolutions. After 30 minutes I located the list that I was committed to in January. I reviewed the handwriting to make sure it was my own. I then sadly realized I hadn’t done any of that crap. I don’t even use my Wii on a regular basis. I can’t even make a commitment to Dance Revolution.
I was now quickly approaching some form of sadness or even maybe depression.
When did I stop believing in my dream?
Have I stopped reviewing my place in life and become complacent?
How committed am I to my dreams?
As I near another birthday, maybe it’s time to reevaluate where I am going in the next five years and what should my goals be at this point? What are 50 things that I want to do in the next five years?
I think there is an APP for that.
Just in case you are in need of an infusion into your commitment sphere, here is a list of APPs that can help you recommit to your goals.
(These have not been downloaded are rated.)
GOALS ToDo Free
How committed are you to hanging onto your dreams?
You are riding down the highway and your cell phone starts to vibrate, you know it is a text message, however, you are going about 45 miles an hour in rush hour traffic. What do you? Do you reach down and grab the phone to see who is texting you or do you ignore it until you get to a stop sign? 95% of people will pick up the phone and “see who this is?” and risk every life on the road including their own, for what, a quick message of “Where u @?”
And as much as I love technology, I love living even more! It is not just a text messaging that has gotten out of control, but our inability to disengage from our cell phones that are turning normal everyday people into ignorant, raging morons. Don’t be offended, for if you are not the offender in this instance you have been at least once in the near past. Here are some prime examples of idiot phone offenses that are lowering our intelligence quotients and our ability to be kind to one another.
App Addlepate: Yes, this is person who has an app to perform every function they can possibly think of but fails to train them how to be a better person. Better people take a moment to appreciate the live person in front of you versus the virtual connection reaching out to you. Is there an APP to teach you life skills?
Bluetooth Blockhead: Yeah for you, you have a bluetooth, but honestly, do you have to walk up behind me, conversing with your imaginary friend with your outside voice? Having a bluetooth is great for hands free calling if you are on a long road trip, but really, your GPS comes bluetooth enabled, so once outside of the car, take the stupid thing off. You don’t look important, you look like someone who spends too much time on the phone and your extra money is being used to pay for unneeded cell services.
Conversation Cretin: I am trying to have a face to face, one on one conversation with you, please pay attention, I don’t need to have a conversation with the top of your head while you respond to frequent buzzing that appears to have your remotely programmed like Pavlov’s dog.
Dining Dimwit: I have a girlfriend that I refuse to go out to eat with and lately, I just hate to spend time with her. Why? Her phone never stops going off! Her husband, her kids, her father, all seem to have an incessant need to connect with her the minute she leaves their line of sight. One, it is rude and tells the person with whom you are with, that they are not important and unworthy of your time. Two, your family and kids have no respect for your time, and last but not least, it is just plain rude.
Dialing Dunderhead: How many times do you need to apologize for your butt, your purse, your dog or the 3-year-old speed calling on your phone because you refuse to lock the screen.
Facebook Fanatic: Yes I love my friends and enjoy their post, but no I am not going to respond to every posting on my wall, every request to add more fish on Farmville, join your Mafia, or accept your hearts of blessings. Do it at home on your own time.
Fast Food Fool: At the counter at the sandwich shop, on the phone, trying to place an order, talking to the young lady behind the counter, while yelling at your spouse, child or in law on the phone. Why not just finish the call, place your order, pay for the order, pick up the order and call the person on the phone as you head back outside.
Instant Message Imbecile: Yes, I know you need an answer soon, but does it have to be right now? You are reducing my productivity by forcing me to stop and answer you. If I did not answer your last 5 instant messages, maybe I am busy. Maybe I fell down the well and Lassie went to get Timmy, and maybe I just don’t want to answer you.
Loud Lamebrain: I know you are upset, I know they don’t understand, but really, neither do I. I don’t understand why everyone in the room, the hall, the bathroom, the restaurant and any other public place has to be tortured with your conversation and lack of mastery of your emotions? Tone it down and shut it up!
Meeting Moron: You are in a meeting, why is your phone on unless the conference call is coming in on your line and everyone in the room should be privy to the conversation. If not, please turn off your phone, my time is valuable too, don’t waste it by sending messages to your friends.
Picture Pinhead: You do realize that even if you don’t open it, you will still be charged for receiving the picture of the dancing penis that was not funny when you were 12 and is not funny now. If you are in an accident and I am your insurance agent, send me a picture mail. If not, send it via email that does not cost me anything, and 9 times out of 10, I don’t really want to see it.
Sync Simpleton: How many times of day do you need to sync it to your lap top? You don’t need to beam me your V-card, I have your business card and a card scanner, I have your info. I know how to reach you, besides your text messages has ALL of your contact info, just like your email.
Tunes Twit:. I have one friend that I like to call every day just to see which song will be playing today. How many ringtones do you really need, and why do I have to listen to “Single Ladies”, or “Blessed” or any other subjugation of your musical choices simply because I need to call you? You are an adult, your phone should ring, if you are available answer it, if not let it go to voice mail.
Twitter Twerp: Really, do we need a play by-play of your day? Enough said.
Voicemail Victim: I don’t really want to leave a message, but if I do, will you please take the time to listen to what I have to say, before you call me back to say “I saw you called.” Yes, I called. I left you a message telling you what I wanted, listen to it and call me back with an answer.
I know technology is a wonderful thing, but please, stop allowing your smart phone to make you an idiot. Remember the simple manners your mother taught you and put those into play. Now if you will excuse me, I need to send out some hearts, blessings, rob a pimp and steal a car as I build my mafia connection, and build my new life in YoVille.
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I often chuckle when I hear my friends and colleagues boasts about being a grown woman, then I am more amused when I watch them make immature decisions. I watch them make choices that are bad for their personal well-being an the moment, and choices that are bad for their future. The stresses of life and emotional loneliness can be contributing factors to bad decision making.
I am often asked, what should I do— and as a grown woman, I have learned to sit and listen, and realize that my friends thought process, do not neccessarily equate to me to interjecting mine. What works for me, may not work for you, so here is my advice to the many women who often ask me the same question, as well as my advice to all who read this post.
If you are at a crossroads in your life, sit down in the middle of the street and make a list of where you have been, and where you would like to go. As simple as it may seem, for some, just sitting still long enough to write a list –is an issue. However, you can not fully understand where you are trying to go, until you have identified, label, misnomer, or assigned the wrong psychological principle, to what you will soon learn to call– bull puckey.
That is what it is,bullpuckey— it is all the crap that you have convinced yourself is important, that in actuality has no real relevance in your life. It is the proverbial time on the treadmill where you are running inside of the the little cage which you have boxed yourself in, that you are NOW calling a fulfilling life. If you have not poured yourself a cup of tea, sat down with a good book or your favorite magazine without the tv on, to just read for 30 minutes, then how you are getting on in your life, well it is bull puckey!
If you have not or can not remember what you like to do for fun that is not associated with your husband or children, then how you are living needs to be reevaluated. If you can not remember the last time you and a girl friend sat down and had a two-hour lunch talking about nothing….and realized it was the best conversation you have had in a long time, then stop.
Put down the laptop, get off of Facebook, and sign out of your Twitter account. Get up off your butt and plug back into life. Decide in the next week what you would like to do to better yourself that can be done in incremental steps, and make a plan. I will start you off with some suggestions. You want to know why, because I am happy. Not in the moment, not for a reason, but because it is the way that I am living. I grew into my happiness and I want to help you grow into yours.
Here are my suggestions for the month of April 2010.
First we will start by getting you organized, to get the clutter out of your life. I know, you have a Blackberry or some other gadget you are paying too much money for and don’t really know how to use. Let’s first simplify with www.cozi.com and get everything in one place.
I also want you to start thinking about your summer vacation for the family and for you and your man (yes your man, and if that is not what you call him or how you think of him, we will address that in June) .
For the family, you can save some money, give back to America and help the planet all in one. http://www.thedailygreen.com/environmental-news/latest/eco-travel-volunteer-vacations-50022309.
Then plan a quiet get away for you and your man with www.cruises-4-free.com.
Tody is the day you take the first step to grow into your happiness. I check back with you in a month and see how you are doing.
All my best,