Did you just unfriend me?
Today I was just given a shock. I was checking my Facebook page and hubby made the comment that our son had something funny on his wall. I went to check and found that my own child had unfriended me! The nerve!
Here is the beauty of this; he is not able to see my post because he is not my friend. Therefore I can talk about him and he not know.
What does it really mean in Americanspeak when someone unfriends you on a social network? It means that you have been deemed unimportant in their daily lives. It means they do not care to know what you are doing on a daily basis and you are not privy to their information. In other words, you have been ruled as obsolete.
I know, it hurts. It hurts me too. I unfriended by brother-in-law and his insipid wife. I unfriended that guy from high school that I never really spoke to 30 years ago and I don’t really want to know about his daily life. I unfriended that drunk girl from college, who claimed she was allergic to alcohol, but found a way to guzzle it every weekend. I unfriended an Army buddy who found religion. She did not necessarily find God, because she is always judging how someone else is living their lives. I unfriended that former co-worker who I remembered tried to get me fired. Witch!
I blocked Mafia Wars, My Little Pony, I have a Butt Rash, Hearts, Rabbits and other irrelevant applications that drained my phone’s battery. I stopped following and unliking artist who made sucky movies. I stopped liking artist who sold out and added rap music to beautiful R & B ballads. I stopped responding to events that I would never, ever attend, by groups, I don’t want to be associated with anyway.
I took a cue from my son.
I started to update my pages as well and began to remove people that I really didn’t deal with on a regular basis.
I am okay with it.
I just hope some my acquaintances are as well, my sister in law, I don’t really care about.
Unfriending someone is not an insult. I see it as a separation of church and state. I don’t need to see everything that is going on in my son’s life and he does not need to see what I am posting. Not that either of us are saying anything offensive.
I am glad I have a chance to now ask him how was his day, versus sharing his life vicariously through his daily updates. I, now get to talk to him in person. Unfriending me, may just save our relationship.
But She is My Friend…………………….
After the week I have had, I am thoroughly convinced that people are losing their minds! First I receive a text out of the blue from a friend who just has to see me, and invites me for drinks on Saturday night. Secondly, I receive an email from another friend who is itching to scrapbook but want to have lunch first and them get started about 3 pm after her hubby comes back to be able to sit with the dog. Last, but not least, I literally run into an old friend in Wal-Mart, who avoids me. Me? What did I do to you? She treated me as if she caught me sleeping with her husband.
Let me back up for a minute and start with friend one and the call out of nowhere. Initially, a month ago, she calls and tells me she is having a get together for the ladies at the church and she wants me to come over. She did not invite me as a guest, but as an extra pair of hands. I guess this was supposed to be our bonding time. She actually expected me to show up and work my butt off serving her guest. I refused.
Fast forward two months, her over complicated life is about to swallow her up and she knows the perfect friend to call. This of course would be me. How the bleep do you figure that I have nothing better to do with time other than make you feel better about yourself and your sorry life choices? She was buying lunch, I wanted hot wings, so I went. I made her feel better and she was proud to say she calls me friend.
The second friend, which, we haven’t know each other that long, we really aren’t that close, and really haven’t had a chance to truly bond. Our first night out with her and her hubby, they brought the 10 year old. Understandaly, you didn’t have a sitter. Second time we met, she left the windows down on the car and I thought, well maybe she doesn’t like air conditioning. There was a dog in the back seat. I was informed that the dog had some issues and did not like to be left home alone.
Two weeks later, we are planning to get together to scrapbook. She said she has to bring her dog.
I. Don’t. Have. A . Dog.
She said he would be fine if I had shade in my back yard. What makes you think I want dog crap in my yard? I can see making a concession for your 10 year old, even considering I don’t have one, but for your dog? You have lost your damn mind!
Last but not least, to my former friend in the store, I am sorry if I have done something to offend you. I am even sorrier if you have done something to offend me that I have yet to learn. I am sorry that we have come to this point in our relationship. Which leads me to this thought, why do I call these people friend?
I am starting a running list of my new dirty words and friend comes in at number two. I am uncertain if we have entered such and electronic world where knowing the intimacies of your life via your Tweets and Facebook posts, makes us close. It does not. It makes you a person who is losing touch with reality. Where were you in your book of “Hello, God, it’s me Magaret…” that no one answered you back?
If your friends do not have small children, then it is not okay to bring your child to dinner. If your friend does not have a dog, then why would you want to bring yours to my house? If I don’t call you to vent and unload my problems, then why do you think it is okay to do this to me? Why, because you call me friend? Out of curiosity, what do you think I call you?
If you are avoiding me in the store, then the problem lies within you. I have not wronged you and you will not afford me the opportunity to make it right. Dictionary.com defines friend as “a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.” If you hold these people you call friend in high regard, then treat them as such and not as a person who owes you something, your personal counselor, or someone you need to hate in order to feel alive.
On the other shoe, if she gets drunk every time you go out, and you have to be their babysitter, you can also scratch them off your list as a friend. If you constantly have to bail them out, literally and figuratively, then maybe you should not call them friend. Today I am making a list, and noting the qualities I like in those who support me and I them and why I choose to call them my friend. I am glad you are on my list.
Are you managing your brand?
I read a lot of Blogs. I read a lot of books. I read a lot.
I am subscribed to several RSS Feeds that keep me up to date and in the know. In turn, I relay this information on to those who are following, subscribing or listening to me. The other day, I ran across an update from some group that offers to help you obtain 100,000 followers on Twitter. I signed up back in February of 2011 and for some reason, when the email update came in, I read it. I was shocked. There was information in there which was really relevant to what I wanted to know. There was information in this article that told me things that I needed to do. There was information in this update that reminded me that I am a brand. There was information in this article that told me ways to better manage my brand. Then it donned on me, that I was in fact a brand and I had not been doing a very good job of managing my product.
My product is words. I am a Wordsmith. I am the local Word brand manager of where to go, what to do, and what is hot. If you are having a local event and you want people to come, I am usually invited. Why? Not because I am Über cool, but because if it is something interesting and new, I am usually there sharing my Words with others and why they should be there too. If it is run of the mill and I can see it any day or any time, more than likely, I am not going and will not share any Words about this event. If I am going you will know because I will check it at the location and send out words about cost, the happenings and if you may be interested in coming out as well. I usually check in on my favorite app called Foursquare. I have over 1,295 physical check ins from Anchorage, Alaska to San Juan, Puerto Rico. I hold 21 Mayorships and have 64 badges. I often leave tips and clues on businesses in Augusta that can earn you points and locations about town to unlock badges. Look for my words at your next check in.
I have a blog full of words that tell you all of the out-of-the-way places in Augusta that many people forget are there. These little places are “Off the Beaten Path”, and offer unique gift ideas, great bargains and meals that you can afford. I even use my words feature local artists and events worth coming out to support. I am not featuring these areas for any reason other than, hey, look what I found and to let others know that are many things to do and enjoy in our city. Along with my Examiner.com blog, I also have a personal Blog where I just get words off my chest or rather out of my head and onto a piece of paper. I called these words, “I was Just Thinking.” Am I going to save the world, why hell no, but hey, I was just thinking about a few words I wanted to share them and guess what, other people want to know my words too because I have subscribers. And I thank you for reading my words.
I also have Twitter followers who follow me @assistingu where I provide up to date words in the form of information from quotes to tips to keep you from overspending while you shop.
“Avoid overspending by eating sunflower or pumpkin seeds while you shop. Release of tryptophan calms you down.#assistingu”
I found, in reading other words from this article, that I was following words from people who were not following 
my words. You can find those unfriendly Wordmongers who you follow but who don’t follow you by using http://friendorfollow.com. I also found that I could really go viral and tap into the viral nature by encouraging retweets of my words. This can again be a condition of entry to a giveaway; or you can invite people to ‘pay with a tweet’ to download a chapter, e-book or other resource. Do this using www.paywithatweet.com. I also found that you also gain a higher position in the Twitter directories such as http://www.wefollow.com . I then began using more words in sentence from about how to and began to finds ways that my words could actually assist you.
I have a local word building group at Augusta Writers where 1,253 people enjoy tips and tools that keep them inspired be word craftsmen. Since I am an avid reader, moving quickly toward voracious, I began to throw around my adjectives and encourage others to download free eBooks to encourage other wordsmiths. I do so in hoping that their words can also encourage you to use your own words. If not, there are weekly word combination challenges, updates on word building conferences, word smithing workshops, hard bound word festivals and more. The challenges are fun and can be deceptively difficult and sometimes can require the use of an adverb.
Your three words for Tuesday, August 9th are: Cinnamon toast, toilet bowl, and red handled scissors. You many begin.
Wordsmithing can be the start of a journey. And speaking of journey’s, I collected some words that formed the syllables of travel club which is a group of friends and associates who are over 40 and like to go places but often find it can be expensive to vacation they way that you really want. We put our words together. We found that if you do it as a group, you can save money by leveraging your words with dollar signs. In 2012, our words are cruising to Belize. In 2013 our words are heading to the Montreal Jazz Festival. I like the sounds jazz notes make and so do my friends.
This is who I am.
I am a word wrangler. I subscribe to learn a new word a day.
I collect words and put them together. I am paid by you sharing my word collections.
These collected words are resold to subscribers that assist you in going about your day.
These words can tell you places to eat.
My words can tell you how to win prizes.
My words suggest books to read.
My collection of words can save you money.
My words can help you feel better.
I manage my words very carefully.
I am Assistingu and this is my brand.
What is it exactly that you do and how are you managing your brand?
Surviving My Addiction….to Facebook.
I was reluctant to admit that I had a problem. Like most addicts it did not become real until I looked in the mirror and found myself with a love jones to get to it, to feel it in my fingers, to connect with my new-found poison and drink it in. My family and friends all knew but none wanted to confront me, but I had to confront myself with a an intervention. I can now say it with pride as I start my recovery, Hi, I am Cheryl and I am a Facebook addict.
It started so innocently. I was speaking to an old college beau and he mentioned that “You should be on Facebook.” I was familiar with the social application, but at the time, you had to have an .edu address to be a part of the network for college students only. Evidently I was misinformed, Facebook had grown up. I had a few extra minutes and I logged on. Please 
understand, I already had a MySpace account and had gathered some famous movie star and recording friends. I felt like I was moving and shaking, but then I tried Facebook.
It was like manna in my hands and felt as if I had found something that understood me, where I wanted to be and things I needed to say. The world was at my fingertips and all I had to do was push the little button that say “connect”. Yet, as innocently as it started I began to notice changes in my behavior. I had to upgrade my phone to a Palm OS with a Facebook interface so that I could stay connected anywhere and at anytime.
I started slow with just one or two friends and a couple of game applications, hereinafter referred as apps. I connected with my son and a few of his pals that were all at my house, no harm in “friending” them. Then I began to connect with my old high school pals and a few from college. My Army buddies began to sign on and suddenly, people I had not heard from in years were a mouse click away. I had to learn the hard way though, I was in a Mafia, working on a farm in Farmville and was hanging out in Yoville. That turned out to be a waste of time because now I had clients that I had put on Facebook. I went from one account to six in a matter of months, and it was becoming difficult to keep up, so I discovered Tweetdeck.
I did not think it could get worse, but it did. I turned into a Facebook snob. I began to “remove” those friends I thought were undesirable. Friends, who had nothing worthwhile to post but negative updates with comments about other people, were removed. I even went as far to call a few friends and suggest they make their daily post quotes about life until they were able to clean out their list of friends. I even had the audacity to suggest “cooling it” with so many personal pictures and if they really had that many “haters”, why would you tell them where you are going to be every moment of the day? I know….. right?
My addiction is not common place, my addiction is nasty. It is all-consuming. I have addicted others, I have set a standard. I have people who follow my drivel. Why? Because I am addictive. LMBO, yeap, it’s true. Each month I go as far as having a common theme, where my posts are aimed at helping you live a better life. Fancy tidbits of information for websites you did not even know existed for free stuff you didn’t even know you could get. I even set it to music, why, because I am a form of a music and movie savant. I have a photographic memory and love music. I start the day with a praise song and end the day with a pensive piece. Some days, I share my love of music with others and post items on their wall with love notes of “Just because it’s Tuesday”, which has caught on. During Oscar week I posted famous clips from past Oscar winners like On the Waterfront and All About Eve and even included Sydney Poitier’s 1969 acceptance speech.
My favorite fix, I must admit is to post a movie line and see how many people know what it is, while others chime in with other famous lines from the same movie. The high is amazing. It is like being the popular kid in cyberspace. I have to check it at least five or six times a day to see who responded to my post, and to see if the invites that I had received were for events that I actually wanted to go to with people who online, were cool, but did I want to hang out with in real life. I purged my friends list again. If I didn’t want to hang out with you “for real” I didn’t want you in my Facebook sandbox.
My family wants to stage an intervention, but I don’t think it is THAT bad. I do however, know I need to cutback. And I will, once I make my music selection for the night, so that I can sign out. I am thinking “Why” by Annie Lennox. I know why…and so do you.
Good night my Friends. Ms. Lennox, you have the con……
I may be mad
I may be blind
I may be viciously unkind
But I can still read what you’re thinking
Start Networking
Recently I added Facebook to my social networking channels to see who else I could connect with before the dreaded high school reunion.
It has been amazing the number of classmates that I lost touch with or people, who were once critical in my every day, that I had not spoken to in years, were happy to see my face. Which begs two questions, how important were they, and why did I loose touch?
We loose touch for the simple reasons that we move on, we have changes in our lives, or ‘those people” no longer fit in our plans. Do we simply close the door and move on, or do you find that many years later, “those people” still have the same view of you? if their view is still the same, then maybe what we were moving on from wasn’t “those poeple” but ourselves.
This month, I challenge you to reconnect with something you lost touch with, whether it be an old hobby, and old friend, or an old classmate. Because, in the end, what really matters is what you did when you are here, and not neccessarily what you did when you were there.
Connect today, and make a difference in your tommorrow.
Your Personal Assistant
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