Well, now what…..

Posted on April 3, 2013

There is a point in everyone’s life when you realized that some things are just not for you. I recently experienced that moment, not only once, but twice.

Last week I walked into my classroom and we began our finals.  I started with my attendance and told the students, “For the last time, let us begin and end our Public Speaking journey.” After completing the attendance, I passed out numbers for the students speaking order.  I then began my relaxation techniques before the students began their final speeches. After the deep breathing and cleansing exercises, I politely instructed to the students, “Let us begin, come and show me what I have taught you.”

One by one they filed to the podium.  They were rehearsed.  They were prepared.  They were ready.  I was proud.

We managed to get through sixteen, five minute speeches, with slides, no cards, no scripts, no major flubs.  I, again was proud.

It was at that moment that realized, it can’t get any better than this.

My work here was done.

I walked into my boss’ office, and informed her that Thursday, would be my last day.

I kept it quiet and proceeded to complete my normal end of quarter process, and on Thursday, as quietly as I had arrived, I turned in my badge and key and called it a day.

Ironically, my boss understood that there was nothing left there for me to do and it was time for me to move on, forward and upward.

I also received a call on Tuesday from a potential employer which was also my signal to move on to greener pastures.  I had an interview with him on Friday.

I met with him and the team, and sat over the weekend and put together a plan of marketing profit.  If I may say so myself, it is brilliant and will make them a crap load of money.  There is only one problem.  I don’t want to do it.

I have decided, that I will give it to him and he can have fun with it. 

I may consult or work on one or two of the concepts, but honestly, I don’t have the energy to do that kind of work anymore.

My boss, in her farewell speech to me said, “We only have so much creative energy, and we must be careful how we use it.”  I found myself thinking that is the most bullshit filled statement I have ever heard.  The more creative you are, the more creative you become.  It is when you stop using the old grey matter that it becomes congealed. I felt my teaching gig was congealing the grey matter but for another reason. I had or was losing my passion.

I had other things I wanted to do and try and teaching, for the moment was in the way.

I sat yesterday, my first free day in Heaven knows when, and watched judge shows and SVU all day.  Okay, Cheryl, now what?

Well, I am going to start by cleaning my house, then I will clean my mental house and I will decide what’s next.

I am unemployed with a head full of ideas and ready to start the final phase of my life.  I know where I want to go.  I just have to clear out the clutter of where I have already been.  It is not going to all happen this week, but it will happen, because I will make it happen.

I am a writer.   I will write.

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