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What to Watch: Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil

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Tucker & Dale vs Evil is a hilariously gory, good-spirited horror comedy, doing for killer rednecks what Shaun of the Dead did for zombies. Tucker and Dale are two best friends on vacation at their dilapidated mountain house, who are mistaken for murderous backwoods hillbillies by a group of obnoxious, preppy college kids.

When one of the students gets separated from her friends, the boys try to lend a hand, but as the misunderstanding grows, so does the body count. Tucker & Dale vs Evil has been a hit on the festival circuit, debuting at Sundance, and winning the Midnight Audience Award at SXSW, the Jury Prize for First Feature at Fantasia, the Best Director award at Fantaspoa, and the Best Motion Picture Award at Sitges. — (C) Official Site

 

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Merry Christmas! The Blakemores are Live!

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After five years, we are coming to the close of our serial and favorite gun slinging, Texas family, who seem to be a magnet for bad guys.  It is a bittersweet close as I cried when I penned the final chapter.  However, I am proud of this piece, elated for you to read it, and I think, I have wrapped this up with a nice bow.

Merry Christmas, from my family to yours.  

It’s time to say Goodnight Mr. Blakemore.

A storm is brewing at the Busy B as Bobby Ray puts his foot down with Connard. Odessa heads for a showdown with her in-laws and all the gang are together again. The laughs are plenty as we bid a fond farewell to our favorite family bidding Goodnight Mr. Blakemore to our favorite gun-slinging, breakfast loving, non-conventional hero, Saxton.

**** Full Length Novel*****

 

Get a free preview or click to download your copy today. Paperback coming soon.

What I’m Watching: Bright Tonight on Netflix

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Set in a world where mystical creatures live side by side with humans. A human cop is forced to work with an Orc to find a weapon everyone is prepared to kill for.

Humans, Orcs, Elves… everybody is just trying to get along. Get ready for the world of Bright, a new Netflix Original Film, starring Will Smith and Joel Edgerton. Coming to Netflix December 22nd.

This is a 90 million dollar Netflix movie.

Let that sink in.

What I am Reading:

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The Last Black Unicorn by [Haddish, Tiffany]Tiffany can’t avoid being funny—it’s just who she is, whether she’s plotting shocking, jaw-dropping revenge on an ex-boyfriend or learning how to handle her newfound fame despite still having a broke person’s mind-set. Finally poised to become a household name, she recounts with heart and humor how she came from nothing and nowhere to achieve her dreams by owning, sharing, and using her pain to heal others.

By turns hilarious, filthy, and brutally honest, The Last Black Unicorn shows the world who Tiffany Haddish really is—humble, grateful, down-to-earth, and funny as hell. And now, she’s ready to inspire others through the power of laughter.

She’s not really a writer though.  

This one is kind of pricey at $12.99.  Click here to get it.  Adult material. Loads of profanity and she poops in  dude’s shoe.


Rest In Peace, BabyRest in Peace, Baby by Vincente Morales

One badass girl, a shitload of murderous narcos, and nonstop action from the opening line. This is a no holds barred *introductory action sequence* filled with deliciously unrealistic action and an over the top heroine. It’s a blazing fast 90-page read. 

It’s *not* a full novel with a full plot, character development, etc. If you want those things (ya greedy bastard!) you’ll have to read my *next* book, which ain’t free! Cheapskates love free books, but my baby girl don’t like cheapskates…

This book is just the teaser to get your blood pumping and sucker you into buying my next book. (I’m sorry for being such a greedy bastard that I actually want to make a living.)

Grab your free copy, get glued to your seat, and then resentfully buy the next Badass Mexican Girl thriller!

Get it here for free.


LAST GASPThe Last Gasp…before you die. By Robert F. Barker

The last time DCI Jamie Carver involved a would-be victim in his hunt for a serial killer, it ended badly. now they want him to do it again, only this time the ‘victim’ is a dominatrix! As if he hasn’t enough on his plate…
– A brutal killer poised to strike again
– Shadows of the past that still haunt his dreams
– An investigation under mounting pressure to succeed
– A beautiful woman whose bizarre lifestyle may be key to finding a killer.
The first in the DCI Jamie Carver Series, and Book 1 of The Worshipper Trilogy, LAST GASP is a novel of murder, deception, sexual intrigue and human weakness. It launches a series of gritty crime thrillers set mainly in and around England’s Northwest, featuring the author’s resourceful, but sometimes conflicted, murder detective, DCI Jamie Carver. 

Click here to get it for free.


Captive HeartCaptive Heart by J.H. Bardwell

Is is just me or do these white women fantasize about slavery? Being captured and forcibly sexualized is not sexy.  What in the entire pink hell?

He’s captured her freedom, but can she capture his heart?

A Kindaran spy named Snowberry by her captor gets more than she bargained for when her mission explodes in her face, and she’s enslaved by the northern barbarian, Adun. He strips her rights away and drags her far from civilization where isolation and culture shock form a stronger prison wall than any stone or bars. The only key to her freedom may be using her whily espionage talents to unlock her captor’s heart.

Captive Heart is a pulsating game of cat and mouse. She is a not-so-diminutive spy who must play the part of the willing captive. He is a sardonic man cast as the villain whose wild hair and tattoos cover deep, hidden depths. When Snowberry finally gets the chance to shed that hateful name and her captor forever.

Yes, this one should be free.


Excerpt: The Christmas Quilts

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14316047_1762678680616356_1045376697_oCody paid the check, feeling better about the decision to make the quilts himself with each passing moment. The feeling dropped out of his head the moment he entered the Aiken Museum and begin to look at the quilts on display. I must have been out of my mind. I will pay whatever those people want to make these bleeping quilts! I can’t do this.

“Hello there, Cody Richardson,” a soft voice said behind him.

He turned to see Bisa standing there looking like she just stepped out of a haute couture magazine ad for diversity in the workplace.
“Oh hey, look at all of these quilts. This is 
overwhelming,” he said.
“Each one was made one 9 inch square at a time, or one scrap, one block, and one stitch. You build upon each block, creating the foundation for the story in fabric, then once it is complete, you close the book by weaving intricate threading to hold the pieces together,” she said, giving him that warm smile again.
“I have never heard quilting described so beautifully before,” Lily Rose said.
Remembering his grandmother was standing there, Cody turned, almost bumping into her. “Bisa Washington, this is my grandmother, Lily Rose Richardson. She is the quilter in the family. It is her quilts you will be working on,” he said raising his eyebrows when he said the word ‘you’.
Bisa picked up on it.
“I look forward to working with Cody to bring your work to life for your family,” she said.
“Bisa? That is an unusual name. What does it mean?” Lily Rose asked.
“It means one that is loved in Swahili,” she said.
“Do you have a quilt on display as well, Bisa?” Lily Rose wanted to know.
“My quilting guild has these two on display and the one in the corner I personally quilted,” she said, pointing to the quilt in the corner. Both Cody and Lily Rose gasped.
The quilt was a work of art.
Children of every race played in a field of high grass laden with flowers as the rays of the sun shone down on them. The details of the children’s faces were patch worked pieces of fabrics creating shadings of lights and darks like skin tones. The flowers were vibrant, the children happy and that stupid warm feeling came back to Cody’s toes. Moreover, the quilt moved him.
“Absolutely stunning,” he said, looking at Bisa.
“You like it?”
“I love it. I have never seen anything like it in my life. You are an amazing fabric artist,” he said.
Lily Rose, who had remained quiet, held a handkerchief to her running nose as tears filled her eyes. The emotions of the children having fun took her back to the days of her young ones running through the fields at the lake, having fun and enjoying life. A time of innocence and pure joy.
“I call it a Time of Innocence,” she said making Lily Rose burst into tears.
“Oh, my dear lady, please don’t cry. Here, let me help you be seated,” Bisa said, helping the gentlewoman to a chair.
“I don’t mean to be silly, but that is exactly what I thought when I saw your quilt. It reminded me of my children playing at the lake, having fun without a care in the world.”
“We forget those times as well, which is why I wanted to capture it on this quilt. A gentle reminder of how beautiful life can be when we let go of the silliness and enjoy those special moments,” Bisa said.
Lily Rose grabbed Bisa’s hands, squeezing them between her own. “Thank you. I know that a quilter who does that kind of work doesn’t have time to work on my old scrap quilts but it means the world to me to present those memories to my family. The Richardsons will forever be in your debt,” she told Bisa.
“No debt required; you are paying for my time, Mrs. Richardson. Your grandson over there is quite the persuader,” Bisa said, flashing Cody a smile and wink, which did not reach his toes, but stopped mid-way in his body.
“Goodness gracious,” he said, turning his back them. “Excuse me for a moment.”
Cody made a beeline out to the back door to get a grip on himself. Between her fricking quilt, that smile, and the way she handled his grandmother, he was sitting all up in his feelings.
“What are you doing?”
He thought he’d asked the question out loud to himself, but it was Bisa’s voice over his shoulder. She was standing so close that if he leaned back, she could accuse him of a personal violation.
“I needed a moment,” he said.
“Your Nana is a sweetheart,” she said, almost whispering in her ear.
He turned suddenly, facing Bisa. He stood so close the buttons on his shirt could touch her belly button. Her brown eyes searched his blue ones, trying to understand what was occurring between them.
“I’m out of my element here, Bisa,” he said.
“I know, but if you trust me, I will take care of you,” she said softly.
His eyes dropped to her lips. “I believe in reciprocating,” he told her, touching the fabric on her skirt.
“I just bet you do, but first things first,” she said stepping back. “You need to buy a good sewing machine for class on Monday. We start at six sharp. Please don’t be late. The fee covers fabric and all materials.”
“Okay,” he told her, giving her a quick grin.
“Can I ask one favor, Cody?”
“Sure.”
“Don’t wear that cologne. It is like a mating call or something. No one in the class will be able to get anything done,” she added, winking at him again.
“If that’s the case, I’m going to bathe in it before I get there,” he said, winking back at her.
“Watch yourself, Cody. You don’t know what you are getting yourself into,” Bisa said, turning to walk away.
“I can handle anything you dish out, lady,” he called after her. Bisa’s next words were halted by the arrival of Lily Rose, who thanked her again, giving a big hug.
Lily Rose joined her grandson, “I like her. She is going to be good for you.”
“What do you mean, Nana? She is helping me with your quilting,” Cody said.
“A woman like that, Cody, will either bring out the better man in you or expose each and every one of your shortcomings,” Lily Rose said. “It will be one or the other. There is no middle ground with her.”
-Fin-
Would you like to read more?
Get your copy here on Amazon. http://amzn.to/2Ap5AHn
Or here on Smashwords. http://bit.ly/2BpJbda
Or here on ibooks, Kobo, & Nook, Indigo and Angus & Roberson. http://bit.ly/2BPSpeS
Also available in paperback.
buy now
 

The Last Hurrah…The Blakemore Finale

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Okay, so I have no release date for the Blakemores.  I am working on it though.

Loads of information to go in, loads to close out, and inside of it all is a really good story that you are going to love.

It’s time to say goodnight, Mr. Blakemore.

Cyber Monday: One Click Now

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Cody Richardson has always been a fish out of water, but his latest quest left him flopping about the floor of the Quilting B’s shop. Learning to quilt was nowhere on his bucket list of things to do in his lifetime, but to fulfill his Nana’s wish, time was of the essence in getting 24 quilts finished before her 90th birthday.

Bisa’s plate, head, and heart were full of responsibilities as well as getting a new business up and running. She didn’t have time to prepare for her master quilting certification project, quilt show and helping Cody Richardson fulfill his Nana’s request. Instead of working the project for him, she taught him to quilt.

A sweet romance of centered on family, hope and the meaning of love. The laughs are plenty as Cody joins the Quilting B’s cast of regulars as he stitches his way to family history and into Bisa’s heart.

Pre-order today. Click here.037-6x9-Tablet-Coffee-Wood-Table-Prev2