Month: December 2017

What to Watch: Kung Fury

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In 1985, Kung Fury, the toughest martial artist cop in Miami, goes back in time to kill the worst criminal of all time – kung fuhrer Hitler.

Sometime in the early 1980s, Miami-Dade Police Department detective Kung Fury and his partner Dragon apprehend a red ninja in a back alley, but Dragon is sliced in half by the ninja while Kung Fury is suddenly struck by lightning and bitten by a cobra, giving him extraordinary kung fu powers that enable him to defeat his foe. Years later in 1985, after defeating a rogue arcade machine robot, Kung Fury quits the force when he is assigned to partner with Triceracop, fearing that he would lose another partner in the line of duty. Meanwhile, Adolf Hitler, a.k.a. “Kung Führer”, enters the timeline and remotely guns down the police chief and attacks the precinct through a mobile phone. Intent to avenge the chief, Kung Fury has computer whiz Hackerman send him back in time to kill Hitler in Nazi Germany. A glitch in the system, however, sends him back into the Viking Age. After Kung Fury meets the Viking valkyries Barbarianna and Katana, the Norse god Thor sends him to Nazi Germany for him to finish his job.

Upon his arrival, Kung Fury singlehandedly mows down dozens of Nazi soldiers with his kung fu skills, but is gunned down by Hitler using a Gatling-type gun from inside his podium. Suddenly, Thor, Hackerman, Triceracop, the Viking Babes, and a tyrannosaurus hack into the timeline and kill the rest of the Nazi army while the tyrannosaurus squares off against Hitler’s robotic Reichsadler. After being revived by Hackerman, Kung Fury gives Hitler an uppercut before Thor drops his hammer on the Nazi leader and his robotic eagle. Seeing his mission as accomplished, Kung Fury returns to his timeline.

Back in 1985 Miami, Kung Fury once again battles and defeats the arcade machine robot, but notices a Swastika on the robot’s body while Hitler and his Reichsadler enter the timeline, vowing revenge on Kung Fury.

 

yeah. It’s worth a few laughs.

What to Watch: Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil

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Tucker & Dale vs Evil is a hilariously gory, good-spirited horror comedy, doing for killer rednecks what Shaun of the Dead did for zombies. Tucker and Dale are two best friends on vacation at their dilapidated mountain house, who are mistaken for murderous backwoods hillbillies by a group of obnoxious, preppy college kids.

When one of the students gets separated from her friends, the boys try to lend a hand, but as the misunderstanding grows, so does the body count. Tucker & Dale vs Evil has been a hit on the festival circuit, debuting at Sundance, and winning the Midnight Audience Award at SXSW, the Jury Prize for First Feature at Fantasia, the Best Director award at Fantaspoa, and the Best Motion Picture Award at Sitges. — (C) Official Site

 

Merry Christmas! The Blakemores are Live!

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After five years, we are coming to the close of our serial and favorite gun slinging, Texas family, who seem to be a magnet for bad guys.  It is a bittersweet close as I cried when I penned the final chapter.  However, I am proud of this piece, elated for you to read it, and I think, I have wrapped this up with a nice bow.

Merry Christmas, from my family to yours.  

It’s time to say Goodnight Mr. Blakemore.

A storm is brewing at the Busy B as Bobby Ray puts his foot down with Connard. Odessa heads for a showdown with her in-laws and all the gang are together again. The laughs are plenty as we bid a fond farewell to our favorite family bidding Goodnight Mr. Blakemore to our favorite gun-slinging, breakfast loving, non-conventional hero, Saxton.

**** Full Length Novel*****

 

Get a free preview or click to download your copy today. Paperback coming soon.

What I’m Watching: Bright Tonight on Netflix

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Set in a world where mystical creatures live side by side with humans. A human cop is forced to work with an Orc to find a weapon everyone is prepared to kill for.

Humans, Orcs, Elves… everybody is just trying to get along. Get ready for the world of Bright, a new Netflix Original Film, starring Will Smith and Joel Edgerton. Coming to Netflix December 22nd.

This is a 90 million dollar Netflix movie.

Let that sink in.

What I am Reading:

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The Last Black Unicorn by [Haddish, Tiffany]Tiffany can’t avoid being funny—it’s just who she is, whether she’s plotting shocking, jaw-dropping revenge on an ex-boyfriend or learning how to handle her newfound fame despite still having a broke person’s mind-set. Finally poised to become a household name, she recounts with heart and humor how she came from nothing and nowhere to achieve her dreams by owning, sharing, and using her pain to heal others.

By turns hilarious, filthy, and brutally honest, The Last Black Unicorn shows the world who Tiffany Haddish really is—humble, grateful, down-to-earth, and funny as hell. And now, she’s ready to inspire others through the power of laughter.

She’s not really a writer though.  

This one is kind of pricey at $12.99.  Click here to get it.  Adult material. Loads of profanity and she poops in  dude’s shoe.


Rest In Peace, BabyRest in Peace, Baby by Vincente Morales

One badass girl, a shitload of murderous narcos, and nonstop action from the opening line. This is a no holds barred *introductory action sequence* filled with deliciously unrealistic action and an over the top heroine. It’s a blazing fast 90-page read. 

It’s *not* a full novel with a full plot, character development, etc. If you want those things (ya greedy bastard!) you’ll have to read my *next* book, which ain’t free! Cheapskates love free books, but my baby girl don’t like cheapskates…

This book is just the teaser to get your blood pumping and sucker you into buying my next book. (I’m sorry for being such a greedy bastard that I actually want to make a living.)

Grab your free copy, get glued to your seat, and then resentfully buy the next Badass Mexican Girl thriller!

Get it here for free.


LAST GASPThe Last Gasp…before you die. By Robert F. Barker

The last time DCI Jamie Carver involved a would-be victim in his hunt for a serial killer, it ended badly. now they want him to do it again, only this time the ‘victim’ is a dominatrix! As if he hasn’t enough on his plate…
– A brutal killer poised to strike again
– Shadows of the past that still haunt his dreams
– An investigation under mounting pressure to succeed
– A beautiful woman whose bizarre lifestyle may be key to finding a killer.
The first in the DCI Jamie Carver Series, and Book 1 of The Worshipper Trilogy, LAST GASP is a novel of murder, deception, sexual intrigue and human weakness. It launches a series of gritty crime thrillers set mainly in and around England’s Northwest, featuring the author’s resourceful, but sometimes conflicted, murder detective, DCI Jamie Carver. 

Click here to get it for free.


Captive HeartCaptive Heart by J.H. Bardwell

Is is just me or do these white women fantasize about slavery? Being captured and forcibly sexualized is not sexy.  What in the entire pink hell?

He’s captured her freedom, but can she capture his heart?

A Kindaran spy named Snowberry by her captor gets more than she bargained for when her mission explodes in her face, and she’s enslaved by the northern barbarian, Adun. He strips her rights away and drags her far from civilization where isolation and culture shock form a stronger prison wall than any stone or bars. The only key to her freedom may be using her whily espionage talents to unlock her captor’s heart.

Captive Heart is a pulsating game of cat and mouse. She is a not-so-diminutive spy who must play the part of the willing captive. He is a sardonic man cast as the villain whose wild hair and tattoos cover deep, hidden depths. When Snowberry finally gets the chance to shed that hateful name and her captor forever.

Yes, this one should be free.