Month: July 2016
My neighbor, God bless his soul, sets his sprinkler to water every morning and night at seven. Yes, seven in the morning and seven in the evening the life giving sprays of rejuvenation are cascaded upon his lawn bringing forth green blades of lush beauty. His sprinkler sprays deep and wide casting more droplets of water on my side of the fence, which has resulted in one fourth of my yard being green. The rest of my lawn looks like a Frodo and Sam rested there on the way to the Lonely Mountain. I was just thinking that you know maybe I should do something about this situation. After fifteen minutes of my attempted quest for greener grass made me quickly realize, the grass is always greener on the other side for a reason. Here is the reason.
I went outside after working a twelve-hour day to hook the hose up the stationary sprinkler. Unfortunately, I found out that Hubby set the sprinkler to rotate, agitate and saturate at 180 degrees. I got the hose hooked up the sprinkler head and turned the water up. It began to rotate, spewing out life giving water. However, as it made its rotation, I saw it coming towards me and like a confused deer, I stood there wondering if it was going to stop. It didn’t. I was too tired to run so I stood there like a flipping idiot as I was blasted in the face by sprinkler Bukake.
Soaked, I turned off the water then moved the sprinkler head.
I didn’t stick it far enough into the ground this time. I found that out when I turned it back on. It came back around and got me in the face again.
I am starting to hate this sprinkler.
I move it once more, adjust the setting so that it doesn’t rotate one hundred and eighty degrees but only ninety. However, now, it is watering my neighbor’s yard. I felt like a tired Mom in K-Mart trying to get control of her bad ass kid. “Get your little butt back over here,” I was mumbled under my breath.
It’s not like his very verdant yard needs any of my precious water.
I move it again.
The heads are adjusted.
Now it is like a small child spitting up after getting off the roller coaster and not watering at all.
I move it again.
I bend down to turn the hose on and notice my left foot is covered in ants.
My pants leg is moving too.
Now I am standing on the front porch soaking wet, minus one shoe and my pants and wouldn’t you know it, my neighbor is standing there looking at me. Yes, I am on the front porch in my drawers and one shoe.
Mind your own damned business!
This is your fault anyway.
I will tell you that the grass is always greener on the other side for a reason. That reason is better planning and a better sprinkler system. I am sorry lawn, I don’t want you to die, but screw you and the ants which occupy you.
I don’t know why, but I laughed so hard on at this promo that I have to see this movie. I think I may treat myself tomorrow and go and see it.
That and a find out about that “push pop” scene.
I have a son.
I have friends who are police officers.
I love life.
That is all.
I saw this online petition to have Grey’s Anatomy actor Jesse Williams fired from his ABC day job because of his “speech” in the BET awards. I saw this and momentarily was dazed. Then I was confused. After that, I began laughing hysterically.
Since I am technically, still a member of the fourth estate, I have to be fair and slightly unbiased and present both sides of the argument. Here is the link to the site if you want to sign up to protest this intelligent young man being so awake, or if you want to simply venture over to read the comments, here ya go. Click here.
This is why I started to laugh.
1. Gray’s Anatomy is a textbook and an anatomy course.
The original text book was written in the 1850s when its author was a young docto. Gray’s Anatomy was the most comprehensive and accessible medical textbook of its time.
It is a basic anatomy course taught at almost every college in the world as a pre courser to any field of science study.
A national and international treasure, Gray’s Anatomy is essential reading for anyone with an interest in the history of medicine or in the amazingly complex machine that is the human body.
The person who request the petition more than likely is unaware that the title character Meredith Grey, is the daughter of a famous surgeon. A character who struggles to maintain relationships with her colleagues, particularly the hospital’s one-time chief of surgery, Richard Webber, due to a pre-existing relationship between them — Webber and Meredith’s mother had a personal relationship when Meredith was young.
The irony is that the show is on its last legs since it’s initial airing in 2005 and Williams speech has put the show in the new more than it has been in the last six seasons.
2. Who still watches Grey’s Anatomy?
Most of the time when it is on, it is just background noise until Scandal comes on. How many seasons can you watch some good looking kid play God, make bad decisions and sleep with half of his co-workers? Three…at least that’s when I stopped watching the McSteamy, McDreamy, MsSeemly nonsense.
3. The writer and creator of the show is black?
Making an off colored remark about your gay co-worker can get you fired. The show was so lacking in viewership it called Dr. Burke back in 2014., seven years after he was let terminated. What makes you think that Shonda Rhimes is not going to stand up for the young man who actually said everything she is more than likely thinking, but because of a fat paycheck, she keeps her lips shut.
4. Children in America are going to bed hungry.
Children are going hungry every night in America and you want to protest some rich asshole winning an award for helping other people through a foundation you never heard of and never knew about?
Think about this.
Somewhere in Arkansas a 13 year old white girl is carrying her step-father’s child and there is nothing her mother can do about it because he is the only reason they have somewhere to live.
The presumptive nominee for the leader of he free world is making denigrating remarks about women, women’s health and women’s rights.
Women’s health issues are being legislated by old white men with girl friends who take Viagra for lunch so they can bang some young hooker, but a single mom in Alabama can’t get birth control.
The majority of millennials can’t carry on a face to face conversation without needed to send a text message with an emoji to express their feelings.
I can go on, but my head is hurting.
If you want to start a petition, start one for something relevant and worthwhile. Why not petition those congressmen and women who have been in office longer than I have been born.
It is great to feel impassioned for a cause. However, make it a cause that is worthy of changing a life for the better.
Keyword: #writingsprints #amwriting
I found this great app for timing workout intervals. Writing is a work out. So why not set up some speed sprints for writing?
It is awesome! I have programmed it for sprints with 30 minute writing sessions and 25 minute breaks. It comes on the Android platform as well.
Four- 30 minute sprints at 800-1,000 words each gives you a 3,000 + word count for the day. If you factor that word count over 20 days, you have a novel. I am not saying it is going to be a great novel, but hey, you’ll have one.
Get the app here.