Shooting the Finger at the 5th Wave

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What did I just watch?

“The human race stands on the brink of extinction as a series of alien attacks decimate the planet, causing earthquakes, tsunamis and disease. Separated from her family, Ohio teenager Cassie Sullivan (Chloë Grace Moretz) will do whatever it takes to reunite with her brother Sam. Fate leads her to form an alliance with Evan Walker (Alex Roe), a mysterious young man who may be her last hope. Forced to trust each other, Cassie and Evan fight for survival during the fifth assault from the invaders.”

Yeah, this is more of that near Dystopian future where the fate of he world lies in the hands of some kids from Ohio. One which keeps crying and the other who wants his wittle bear. (Yeah, not a typo).


Shoot me now.

This movie is mostly about a girl running in the woods, who hooked up with a really hot stranger that is way too good looking to be real…because he isn’t.  He is an alien.  A hot alien.  An alien I would like to teach the ways of human love.

The plot is weak.

Alex Roe PictureThe acting is mediocre, but that alien dude is worth the ticket.  His name is Alex Roe.

It has wasted the talents of that sexy ass Liev Schreiber and Maria Bello who unfortunately looks like she spent a year in the Arabian sun. Soft lighting would have done wonders for her in this movie.  I mean she is such a beautiful woman but he makeup and lighting was horrific.

So was the acting.

And the plot.

I know I said it once already, but jeeezzzzz, it was that bad. The whole glowing alien head with the parasite attached, but the kids could only see it with implanted chip in the back of thier necks.  One girl decided something is not right, then removed her chip.  Bingo!  Now she is glowing with a green head and alien parasite.

“Whoa!  It’s me!  I’m not an alien,” she yells.

The other kid removes his chip. “Whoa, you know me, I am not an alien either!”

Stop it.  Stop it right now.

I am going to go a write something.