That’s Not What I Asked You To Do

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google-scolding I’m in trouble.  I just got my rump chewed up, spit out and handed back to me on a silver platter.  I made a simple request of a coworker that evidently cannot follow instructions. Since I am in trouble, evidently, I could not either. However, why is it when you make a simple request of someone, they either feel it necessary to interject their ten cents into the scenario or just feel they know better and are going to do it their way? Please allow me to tell you what I was just thinking about and my thought process in this sticky matter.

Thursday was crazy.  I had a board meeting downtown at 4 pm and another meeting at 4 pm as well.  I was also assigned to cover a meeting at 8 pm for my boss by taking notes. By 3:30, I am not feeling well.  I am hungry and irritated.

The 4 o’clock meeting goes well, it moves along at a clip and at 4:20 I am out of the door.  I drive like a bat out of Hades headed to a sale at the fruit grove.  I arrived at 4:40 for the second meeting and am informed that I must take minutes. What?  I have 1600 college degrees and you want me to play secretary? Fine!

aac7d80d730c78e86381a42de8cffae2            The Goddess of Karma must have been listening to my ego and made this meeting drag out until 6:45. I needed to get home, feed the cat, I was still hungry, now I was carrying an attitude, and was a half hour past downright ornery. I was headed home and not to an 8 pm meeting!. I went to my coworker slash friend and made a simple request which was as follows:

“I need to get home, and I’m not sure I will make it back on time.  Can you go to the meeting, make sure everyone signs in, and start this recorder for the minutes?”

Very clear right?

I even explained that a member of the team would be informed to stop the recorder at the end of the meeting and I would pick it up the next day.

On Friday, I had retrieved the recorder and was under the impression that everything was fine, well that was until Monday.

My friend tells me that she got sick in the middle of meeting and threw up.  The meeting had to be adjourned early and the whole thing was a mess.

My eyes went to my bag that held the recorder. Maybe I should have played it back on Friday.

My eyes went back to her.

My eyes went back to the bag.

I was trying to get away from her so I could go and listen to the recording but I never made it there because my boss stopped me in the hall.  I tried to cushion the blow, “Did you get my email on Thursday?”

Her answer, “Not good, Cheryl….not good.”

There was little I could say, I thought I had everything covered and evidently did not.  She opened her mouth and chewed up my right thigh, disemboweled me, and continued munching down my left side.

I had to play that tape. When I finally got her jaw to unhinged from my ass, I found a quiet place to get the recorder out of the bag and play back to the tape.

I did.

Not good, Cheryl, not good.

Question One, which part of take attendance and set the recorder and leave did you not understand Gosh Dangit? it got worse, that heifer tried to run the meeting!

She started taking notes, stopped people who were speaking, asking them to “wait, wait, hold up, back up, and say that again….”

She even had the audacity to add personal home girl commentary like, “Oh no, you didn’t either!”

I was mortified.

Stop laughing, it got worse.

I hear a gurgle in the background of the tape, and am asking myself, what in the world is that?  It is my friend.  She has started to wretch.

I know!  I am asking the same thing.  “Is she throwing up?”

Yes, she was and it was projectile vomiting.  I heard the senior VP scream, “Oh for F*cks Sake!”

Projectile_Vomiting_CartoonI hear my friend apologizing.

Why Dear Jesus why?

I now understand why my boss told me, “People like you and me, we have to do what’s right, because when we try to cut the corners, it all goes horribly awry.”

Oh for F*cks Sake, that is an understatement!

I am angry because if my friend had just done what I had asked, I would still have my bowels, my ass cheeks and the respect of my boss.  But noooooooo, she had to go and mess it up for everyone.

Please don’t misunderstand; I do take full responsibility for my lack of accountability.  At the end of the day, the responsibility was mine and mine alone. I dropped the ball and let my boss down, but I am still angry at my friend who only needed to follow instructions.