As I left campus yesterday, I grumbled at the heat; turning up the AC in my little Ford, I began to think of the new car I should buy next year. Pulling away from my parking space, I began to rehash in my mind, my conversation with my boss. Feeling unappreciated, over worked and a little sorry for myself, I started making a mental list of local institutes of higher education. Yes, in my mind, I thought, if they can’t appreciate everything I do for them and the students, I should just look for greener pastures. I looked up as I began to cross the intersection and that is when I saw her….
Based on the appearance of her sweat soaked uniform and the roundness of her tummy, I estimated that the young lady was at last five months pregnant. It was easily 100 degrees outside and she was walking to school. She was not walking from the bus stop. Instead of a water bottle in her hand, there was a stick, I assume to fend off any dogs. She had a backpack that loosely fell from her heavily weighted shoulder and a squint that adorned her face. I noticed the squint because I had to pull down my sunglasses to really see her face. She was hot. She was aggravated. She was walking to school in 100 degree weather. She was pregnant. She was going to get to class. She was committed.
She is committed to her dream.
I felt envious.
I cannot remember the last time I felt that type of commitment to anything other than something short-term that I wanted.
Please note that I did say that I wanted.
This says nothing about the insane semi-commitments to things that I want; again, not the things that I need.
I can say that I am blessed to need so little.
I almost feel greedy for believing that I want so much.
My thoughts go back to the look of determination on her face. She knows that finishing her degree means a new job. A new job means a new way of life. A new job can mean benefits for her and her children. A new job can mean a car and no longer having to walk in inclement or outrageous weather. A new car means independence.
I now felt selfish.
I have not taught this student.
I felt I needed a break from “giving” so much, so I am not teaching a full load this summer and have not had the pleasure of meeting or working with someone so committed to their dreams. How many other truly committed students am I missing out on this summer while I lounge on my couch watching Maury? I had been whining and whimpering because my passion for my chosen occupation was waning or on the downturn as I made the mental transition to what….
I am supposed to be writing.
I am supposed to be authoring a textbook.
I am supposed to be spending quality time with family and friends.
The latter I have a hold on.
My commitment to my dreams…. not so much.
I began to look around my home office for my list of New Year’s Resolutions. After 30 minutes I located the list that I was committed to in January. I reviewed the handwriting to make sure it was my own. I then sadly realized I hadn’t done any of that crap. I don’t even use my Wii on a regular basis. I can’t even make a commitment to Dance Revolution.
I was now quickly approaching some form of sadness or even maybe depression.
When did I stop believing in my dream?
Have I stopped reviewing my place in life and become complacent?
How committed am I to my dreams?
As I near another birthday, maybe it’s time to reevaluate where I am going in the next five years and what should my goals be at this point? What are 50 things that I want to do in the next five years?
I think there is an APP for that.
Just in case you are in need of an infusion into your commitment sphere, here is a list of APPs that can help you recommit to your goals.
(These have not been downloaded are rated.)
GOALS ToDo Free
How committed are you to hanging onto your dreams?